Christmas Angels

This week has been a rather interesting week. It started off cold and miserable and I was plagued by sadness and distress (I also ripped my cornea on the Christmas tree and had to go to A&E but this is possibly another story for another time!) but something came out of that emotion and some angels also came to visit me.

The thing is...some aspects of my life right now are glorious but I worry that these aspects rest on a very delicate platform which could collapse any moment. I've therefore been looking to change the situation and make it safer, more secure, but it has been rather frustrating as when I have looked at things, I have seen that by changing the situation I'm effectively removing the joyous things and replacing them with less satisfying elements.

For a long time I have carried this restlessness within me (I desperately want to fit and belong and find a home) and I feel like I am succumbing to it again. I also feel that I am more negative than I should be and I feel that this negativity breads and attracts only more negativity. So this week I decided that I can't handle this alone anymore and I need to get some help. This is my first positive step I hope.

And then, yesterday, I met with my friend for coffee who turned out to be an angel in disguise. We went to a lovely little cafe called Cafe Grounded in a part of town I had not ventured to before. I thought the name was a little ironic really...

My friend, let's call her J, is one of my oldest friends and I guess we were drawn to each other when we were younger because we are quite emotional, quite big thinkers and we questioned things a lot. She eventually turned to religion and she's never looked back. Whenever I see her I always have such a lovely time and I feel like she radiates wisdom, kindness and creativity. I just want to hug her repeatedly! :)

We didn't have long to talk but in that time she really helped me. She gave me a short term set of goals to work on and with this came a large amount of hope. Before our coffee, I had been walking along with all sorts of dark curses in my mind, but after I left her I retracted all of these and felt better. The most interesting thing she advised me to do was to keep a thank you/blessings book. I'm to write in it every day and I'm hoping it will keep me focused on the positives from now on. Only time will tell though. I'm also to ask God every day where my home is. As she said 'Ask and you will receive.' We'll see!

I then walked from the cafe to my school where I expected to find a couple of stray students from my class gathered for a Christmas drink I'd arranged last minute. Low and behold, almost all the class appeared and despite the rain and the hill climb to my local pub (which I do every day but they were not too enthused about) they were all in good spirits and at the end of the evening they toasted to a marvellous 3 months in my class. To say I was pretty chuffed was an understatement. These students became my little angels too...

Finally my housemate sent me a text to enquire if I had an umbrella as it was raining - I was only a 2 minute walk from my house but it was very sweet of him to think of me...so there was another one...

So...when it felt like the world was growing darker and colder, I was wrong. There are angels all around us, we just need to know where to look. xxx