Have you ever seen the first episode of Black Books where Bill Bailey accidentally ingests The Little Book of Calm and it assimilates with his system and he becomes almost 'saintly', reciting suggestions from the book at every given opportunity? It is a very funny, I recommend you watch it.
In my lifetime I have 'ingested' (not literally) a bounty of advice and ideas from self-help books and these days I find they are coming back to haunt me.
It all started with my dad's bookshelf. If you go into my mum's house you will find mainly fiction crammed into every spare corner and also festering in the garage in towering boxes (a kindle these days makes sense if you want to reclaim your space back and not struggle when you move house). If you go into my dad's house a whole wall of non-fiction, namely, business books, awaits you but scattered in amongst these are some key 'self-help' titles that have been big over the last forty years.
I'm not talking about books like He's Just Not That Into You - books you eat over a tub of ice-cream (and not a bad book, may I add) - and certainly not a title like this as my dad, whilst being in touch with his feminine side, doesn't require such advice. The books you will find are more general, such as the bestsellers: The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck, I'm ok, you're ok by Thomas A Harris, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran or (a personal favourite of the family) Awareness by Anthony De Mello. My dad's line of work, his passion in life, combines psychology, communication and business so this explains their presence.
Whilst my dad's book collection may not be as colourful (business titles often come designed on block coloured backgrounds - white often is the preferred colour - with a eye-catching typography) or imaginative as my mother's, it has served in educating me on sexual and emotional matters throughout my teenage years. I've tried to get my dad to try and read more fiction once or twice (Memoirs of a Geisha and Wild Swans are the only two prominent fictional titles I think he possesses) but he's not really interested; although I think he misses out in places because you can still glean a lot of wisdom in the pages of a novel too.
Anyway...so whenever I was feeling angst as a teenager, I would look to my dad's collection for some answers. I then discovered my aunt also offered an extended range on her shelf (Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) so I borrowed a few of those too. Then, working at HarperCollins, I had access to their whole department dedicated to this area...and so I would say I have perhaps read more of these types of books than the average Joe.
Frankly, when I am feeling a bit lost in life nothing is a greater distraction and pick-me-up than a self-help book. The answer is in the genre's name - SELF -HELP : you're doing something to help yourself instead of wallowing and swimming round in circles like a demented duck. I see no shame in admitting that I read these books despite whatever stigma people like to attach to it.
And you know what? I used to think they just offered temporary gratification. I'd devour the book, apply the principles loosely for a month or so and then forget almost all of what I had read. But, in actual fact, I'm realising these days that the wisdom has begun to stick.
Like Bill Bailey, when faced with a dilemma or a situation where I'm not sure how to react, I start remembering snippets of advice from various sources which spring forward to help me cope. In the past, I think was more impetuous and I inadvertently chose to ignore a lot of what I read (and advice from my friends too) so experience also comes into play (I've put my hand into the lion's cage one too many times), however, call it emotional maturity, call it 'finally the penny dropping', I am now willing to do, often, the tougher but more advisable action because I believe/know it will pay off eventually.
I find myself using what I've learnt too to help advise others (if they ever seek my advice, I'm not ramming it down their throats like some sanctimonious martyr)...though I suspect, like me, they need to still learn for themselves through trial and error.
So...next time you're feeling a bit lost or unsure, why not seek one out? It is a good distraction and you never know, it might just help....
(In fact, here it is for you below, courtesy of YouTube)
In my lifetime I have 'ingested' (not literally) a bounty of advice and ideas from self-help books and these days I find they are coming back to haunt me.
It all started with my dad's bookshelf. If you go into my mum's house you will find mainly fiction crammed into every spare corner and also festering in the garage in towering boxes (a kindle these days makes sense if you want to reclaim your space back and not struggle when you move house). If you go into my dad's house a whole wall of non-fiction, namely, business books, awaits you but scattered in amongst these are some key 'self-help' titles that have been big over the last forty years.
I'm not talking about books like He's Just Not That Into You - books you eat over a tub of ice-cream (and not a bad book, may I add) - and certainly not a title like this as my dad, whilst being in touch with his feminine side, doesn't require such advice. The books you will find are more general, such as the bestsellers: The Road Less Travelled by M.Scott Peck, I'm ok, you're ok by Thomas A Harris, The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran or (a personal favourite of the family) Awareness by Anthony De Mello. My dad's line of work, his passion in life, combines psychology, communication and business so this explains their presence.
Whilst my dad's book collection may not be as colourful (business titles often come designed on block coloured backgrounds - white often is the preferred colour - with a eye-catching typography) or imaginative as my mother's, it has served in educating me on sexual and emotional matters throughout my teenage years. I've tried to get my dad to try and read more fiction once or twice (Memoirs of a Geisha and Wild Swans are the only two prominent fictional titles I think he possesses) but he's not really interested; although I think he misses out in places because you can still glean a lot of wisdom in the pages of a novel too.
Anyway...so whenever I was feeling angst as a teenager, I would look to my dad's collection for some answers. I then discovered my aunt also offered an extended range on her shelf (Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) so I borrowed a few of those too. Then, working at HarperCollins, I had access to their whole department dedicated to this area...and so I would say I have perhaps read more of these types of books than the average Joe.
Frankly, when I am feeling a bit lost in life nothing is a greater distraction and pick-me-up than a self-help book. The answer is in the genre's name - SELF -HELP : you're doing something to help yourself instead of wallowing and swimming round in circles like a demented duck. I see no shame in admitting that I read these books despite whatever stigma people like to attach to it.
And you know what? I used to think they just offered temporary gratification. I'd devour the book, apply the principles loosely for a month or so and then forget almost all of what I had read. But, in actual fact, I'm realising these days that the wisdom has begun to stick.
Like Bill Bailey, when faced with a dilemma or a situation where I'm not sure how to react, I start remembering snippets of advice from various sources which spring forward to help me cope. In the past, I think was more impetuous and I inadvertently chose to ignore a lot of what I read (and advice from my friends too) so experience also comes into play (I've put my hand into the lion's cage one too many times), however, call it emotional maturity, call it 'finally the penny dropping', I am now willing to do, often, the tougher but more advisable action because I believe/know it will pay off eventually.
I find myself using what I've learnt too to help advise others (if they ever seek my advice, I'm not ramming it down their throats like some sanctimonious martyr)...though I suspect, like me, they need to still learn for themselves through trial and error.
So...next time you're feeling a bit lost or unsure, why not seek one out? It is a good distraction and you never know, it might just help....
2 comments:
MEN HATE CARDIGANS. Sorry ladies.
When it comes to self-help, I don't necessarily turn to "self-help" books for help. I have found that a lot of great inspirational books can also be helpful. For example, I read a really great inspirational novel titled, "Quest for the Lost Name" by George Makris and actually got a lot out of it. It was very entertaining while pointing out spiritual principles without ever being preachy. I seem to learn more from these kinds of books.
http://questforthelostname.com/
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