Friday, 3 January 2014

What I learnt in 2013

I am in the process of packing and I really don't enjoy it very much - but that is an aside. Anyway, in the process of rooting and rummaging around, I stumbled across an old notebook from last year which my sister gave me one Christmas and inside it is full of rambling thoughts and wish lists. I also found a page titled 'What I learnt in 2012' and I reviewed it with a smile before ditching the packing and running downstairs to fetch my computer to begin compiling my 2013 list. I think it is important to reflect now and it is useful to look back at it later...the packing can wait!

So 2013...what have I learnt? Hmm...

I learnt to stay still. Sort of. I decided not to move on after my contract finished last June. I decided to come back for a second year. I am considering a third... this is kind of a big deal for someone who has moved an awful lot in recent years.

Whilst I still am not great at letting go, I practised it a lot in 2013. I still write letters and and put a lot of energy in to keeping in touch with people but I have also recognised when to take a deep breath and take a step back. I also struggled with letting go of a romantic idea I had of someone and whilst this still lingers, I feel confident that I am further down the road than I was at the beginning of the year.

I've learnt to be grateful for the small things. Coffee in the plaza, moments with friends, silly conversations, hugs from my tiny students, evening sunsets from the bathroom window, successful connections and help and kind words I've been given in small ways here and there.

I think my Spanish has slowly progressed and I know if I stick at it, whilst it will not happen over night, I am making some headway.

I'm often stronger than I realise and I give into fear and anxiety too readily sometimes only to be totally surprised when everything turns out to be ok - better than ok often!

I tried padel for the first time and began to realise that maybe I could possibly be good at sports...

I have some truly wonderful family and friends in my life who may not always be around, but when they are I can really feel their love. Having people come to stay in Tarragona and spending some quality one on one time has really shown me this.

I'm okay as I am. I'm always wanting to 'fix' myself and whilst I think it is good to be aware of my flaws and try to move through life with animated empathetic actionI need to realise that sometimes  when people have a problem with my fundamental characteristics that is their problem and their perception and it doesn't necessarily mean I need to 'fix it'. Sometimes what someone finds infuriating about you, another person loves. A flaw can also be a virtue...there are two sides to each coin...

We really should stop comparing...but it is difficult...!

Anyway...those are some initial thoughts. There may be others that come later. What about you? What did you learn? And how was your New Year? I'll have to write a post soon telling you all about mine...but I have to return to packing now... (though I'm planning to soon avoid it again because I've wangled myself a date!! Intrigued...? More to follow soon!) xxx

1 comment:

The Girl said...

Aah I did find this interesting. Especially the bit about flaws being a two side coin, I think I'm guilty of that at the moment. So desperate to keep/make friends that I'm probably not being my true self.

I haven't done any serious reflecting yet, I almost think I'm scared to and it might be better to just forge ahead with 2014!