tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47037094500269338032024-02-19T08:37:30.696-08:00The Curious CatA blog about life's little pleasures...The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.comBlogger730125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-13742044372451469922018-10-01T02:04:00.003-07:002018-10-01T02:04:59.545-07:00A new project and direction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
To anyone who has followed my blog or enjoyed my content over the last ten years, you may have noticed I have disappeared from this platform. I still keep this blog active in case I want to return to it (you never know) but recently I have been busy doing my masters in TESOL and have decided to push my creativity in a different direction.<br />
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I'm trying to write a children's book and work on my artwork - see <a href="http://curiouscatcreative.blogspot.com/">here</a> if you are interested and by all means get in touch if you'd like me to make something for you! More importantly, I am trying to channel my experiences as working as a TEFL teacher for the last seven years into a new blog called <a href="https://eflteachertraveller.wordpress.com/">EFL Teacher Traveller.</a><br />
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I'm hoping to turn it into a website eventually, but right now it is just a blog of articles about travel and teaching. The difference is I am trying to get others to contribute so it is not just about me but more a hub of ideas and experiences. If you know the popular blog <a href="https://tinybuddha.com/">Tiny Buddha</a>, you'll have an idea of what I mean.<br />
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If you are a teacher or traveller reading this and like me and my ideas please get in touch! So much these days I feel we need to work on building strong communities because they are such a source of support and comfort. I remember the old blogging days and the people I used to know online - it used to be so much fun! Online platforms are constantly changing and becoming more commercial but it would be nice to work on a project that isn't just about me and my life but also helping and inspiring other people. I hope you will take a look and who knows? Maybe someday I'll be back here to write. Never say never!<br />
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Thank you for taking the time to pop in and listen to me and good luck with whatever creative endeavours and dreams you have too.<br />
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xxx</div>
The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-16632453338239258472017-12-10T04:39:00.000-08:002017-12-10T04:39:04.006-08:00A brief hello: resurfacing from under the books...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
There’s been no time for blog writing. My hands ache from rsi but it’s all from essay assignments not creative personal reflection. Right now I’m sitting in a Pret in London, waiting for a friend I knew might not show - he’d been drinking the night before when he made the promise- I should have known better. However, it’s snowing outside and I have a ginger tea so I’m content. It’s nice to be away from the books, even for just one day. I need the head space.<br />
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Later I’ll go to the swanky, revamped area of Kings Cross and hug old friends and eat a German-inspired festive feast and look at their familiar faces and wonder where almost fifteen years went and how we’ve changed and come along. People with families now and engagements and high-flying careers. The party days are beginning to disappear and tv nights and baby prams replace them. Do I want that? Not yet, but it’s winter so I’ll take the tv nights for now. Party nights in this weather usually means cold train station platforms. They are no fun in sexy dresses.<br />
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Where are all my sexy dresses? Where is my ever roundish tummy going? Down south that’s what! I’ll try and claw it back next year when I’m not sitting on my bed all day reading teaching literature and eating cake. I will get to the gym... just maybe not in this country... it’s too expensive. For now I’ll remove sugar and milk from my coffee in a lame attempt to battle with those few extra pounds!<br />
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My days are books and paragraph organisation. They are pulling pints and treating myself to the occasional Netflix episode or a tinder date. What happens after? Not sure yet... I’m too busy to give it much thought. Anyway, it was just a post to pass the time and say hi... whoever may still be reading. I’ll be back soon. Lots of love xxx</div>
The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-49677348635561760602017-10-19T16:27:00.003-07:002017-10-19T16:51:08.317-07:00Settling in<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well...I'm three weeks deep into Uni and three weeks deep into my bar job. Routine is slowly forming and work is slowly snowballing. I can't believe how many weeks have already past since I left China. Time just slips through your fingers. Sometimes when I'm in the pub I watch the regulars drink and put the world to rights. I think of my step-dad then and how, if he were alive, he would be like them but down his own pub. The other day I went and sat in the back garden on the bench where I last saw him alive and I had a few tears for him there. He's gone but not forgotten.<br />
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Whilst driving in the car mum made a remark - <i>I'm an orphan now. </i>All her original family are gone now my uncle has passed too this year. I felt a little lump in my throat. This is the first real taste of getting old. Watching lines form around your eyes, your hips widen and people fall away. Tonight I listened to the music play in the pub- half the pop stars were dead. I heard someone say in passing - Cliff Richard and Madonna next as if echoing my thoughts.<br />
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I'm genuinely happy enough getting on with my new life but coming home is always like Peter Pan returning to the real world. I knew there would be things that would shake me and I thought that knowledge would be enough to help me combat it, but it still hasn't. I don't have things - money, house, car etc. I have experiences and I have friends, but coming home I feel the pressure of not having 'things' and of not being able to keep up with my old social circles - friends who have forgotten what it's like to be a student and keep a strict budget. Friends who already have houses and cars and partners who also help provide financial stability. I know it isn't true, but I feel like I failed somehow next to some of them sometimes. I don't enjoy those feelings. It alienates me and makes me feel like I have actually less friends when that's the one thing I take pride in and hold aloft as an 'achievement' area in my life.<br />
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What with my friend who let me down this year, not being able to relate to my older friends who have gone up a social ranking and the awful doubt that a good friend may have possibly invited all our mutual friends to the day part of her wedding and then last minute realised I'm back from China and consigned me to the evening part (a thing I hate about weddings as no matter how you dress it up or have excuses, in my mind I can’t help it- evening part implies you are a second rate friend), I could be wrong but I feel a bit insecure. I’m hope I’m wrong...<br />
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However, what do I expect? It's a lesson I learnt when I was nine returning from the US. I expected all my playground buddies and my best friend to have stayed frozen in time. I struggled with the fact that things has moved on. My ego couldn't cope with it. This is what happens when Peter Pan flies away and then comes back in the movie <i>Hook</i> - he finds his family has moved on. It has to happen but it isn't always easy. The positive thing is, I'm back and whilst there will be bumpy parts and today is just one of those days where I feel it, at least I'm here now to put in some time where I can. Maybe it is only filling the gaps a little but its the best I can do for now. It tells me though that I need to find more inner strength regardless of my career, possessions, experiences - even friends. Not one single element is strong enough to keep you afloat even if some weigh more that others (like love or friendship vs material objects). They help of course, but the only person who can keep you from sinking is you. You have to be strong inside and swim.<br />
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Anyway...that's my little beef today. I'm so busy with academic reading I don't have much time to blog but I felt the need to have a little purge today. It always helps to write it out. Until next time xxx</div>
The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-81551997860163233582017-10-09T14:48:00.000-07:002017-10-09T14:48:17.199-07:00Life Back in England<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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And now it is the fall...I'm back to school and back at home.</div>
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My life is cosy duvet beds, silly, fluffy pussycats that meow in your face, veggie food and hot cups of tea. It's radio 4 in the morning with on-going Brexit negotiations and packed lunches and lectures. It's the morning train and overgrown British countryside -acorns and conkers and fallen leaves. It's swimming once a week at the local leisure centre, its a walk in the countryside at the weekend down muddy tracks, it's starting a pub job and pulling pints and reacquainting myself with Fosters and John Smiths, large glasses of Pingo Grigo and Malibu and cokes... (I'd almost forgotten about Malibu...)</div>
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Life is good, life is pleasant. I've had to give up some control. I live at home with my mother and I don't have a car. I sleep in a single bed and wash my hair in a bath every morning. Everything has to be scheduled. Lists have to be made and diaries are now a thing I refer to. <i>'Are you free......Wednesday?' 'Hmm...let me see...no, I have dinner with so-so then. How about next week on Tuesday? I have a free night then?'</i></div>
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It's appointments at the doctor and dentist, it's plans for Guy Fawkes night and Christmas. It's home....</div>
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It's beautiful swirling clouds and sunsets... It's fresh air... It's also weddings...they keep coming... and babies and responsibility but I knew that was coming and I'm prepared for it. I made my life choices and they led me here. This is my journey and no one else's so I tell myself to stop comparing.</div>
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At first I found being back at Uni a little daunting. We had to write an essay on plagiarism - voluntarily - to check our academic style and relearn how to reference correctly. There is also a lot of reading. Yet serendipitously the one British lady on my course of six lives in the town next to me and takes the same train. She's older - a mother of three- and she's ever so witty, intelligent and full of wonderful stories and she talks at neck-breaking speed. She's me ten years later on natural speed. So I have an instant friend which always helps you to settle in quickly. I didn't even have to make an effort - she just became my buddy from day one - and so often making friends is a factor that helps with adjusting.</div>
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So...this is my life. Will it get harder? Will it get stressful? Perhaps... Am I getting closer to my own personal goals? I hope so. I just walk and I take each day as it comes. I'll tell you more as it happens. xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-89672540145474230422017-09-24T08:00:00.001-07:002017-09-24T08:02:23.226-07:00A reflection time at the beach <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">And now my days in China are over. I sit on the soft,fine sand by the crystal waters of Arrabassada beach and try to soak in the pleasurable feeling of having nothing to do and no job to worry about. Next week university starts back in England. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">As often on beaches I reflect. What does it all mean? Where am I going? Will I fulfil my dream and return here or will my dream change? Does it really matter? I keep doing interesting things and I keep moving. Maybe that's all that matters. Some things change and fade away. Others stay like lichen or moss clinging to rocks. But even this changes colour, adapts and falls away eventually. It's all flux.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">I try to apply my life lessons so far. Sometimes I feel smugly smart and experienced. Other times I criticise myself harshly for making the same mistakes and being a dumb arsed fool. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Today I feel relaxed, controlled and free of cares. What does any of it matter? I tell myself so casually. And yet I know maybe tomorrow I'll be pulling my hair out over some essay assignment or exam like my life depended on it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Is being so reactive living in the moment? Or is reacting to the problem dramatically a sign that we are fearing for the future? How much does adrenaline have to play in it all too?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".sfuitext"; font-size: 17pt;">Generally, I'm happy. I look back and I pat myself on the shoulder for my achievements. I look forward and have faith in my dreams and plans and ability to do amazing and interesting things. And right now I sit still and listen to the waves and try to feel some peace, but all the while there is still hunger in my belly. </span></div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-19201494502122015202017-09-11T13:34:00.000-07:002017-09-12T15:10:12.223-07:00Goodbyes to those in China...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">This is a very long blog but it is a set of goodbyes (roughly in alphabetical order) combined with some memories dedicated to the fantastic people I worked with and knew this year just gone.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", serif, emojifont;"><u>Andy</u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Andy, I really enjoyed our coffee the other day at Taya cafe - your last morning - and I am glad I got to spend that quality time with you before you left as so often goodbyes here seem a bit rushed and abrupt when they fall on a school day. I also always enjoyed our moments side-by-side on the treadmills at the gym. You made running more enjoyable the moment you arrived and the time on the clock passed quicker as we talked about life and thrashed out work issues or various blues . You were an entertaining person to work with and you are very open with a kind heart. I’m glad I got to know you better. I also think you looked really good the day you were leaving - all that exercise paid off and you looked fit and healthy and definitely younger. I hope everything works out in your new job and you’ve done so much already I know there will definitely be more adventures coming your way in life.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Amy and Betty - I remember the days when you both would shyly and tentatively approach the teachers office. Smiles would be glued to your faces - sugarcoat that pill - but your eyes would convey just how nervous you both were delivering us sometimes good news (a class cancellation) but mainly bad news (another class on top of all the other classes) where we would not hide our annoyance. It can’t have been an easy job, so well done for sticking it out. I know we were grumpy, but we all found it kind of amusing in retrospect. Thank you for trying your best. You made us laugh and I’m sure we bemused you too.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", serif, emojifont;"><u>Akash</u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">I never got to say goodbye to you. Wherever you are, I hope life is treating you well and you aren't up to drunken mischief. It's better when you are not... but you are very pleasant when having a chat in the cafe.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><b><u>All the other ladies and gentlemen</u></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Linda, Mary, Bonnie, Daisy, Arys, Rory,…there are too many of you, thank you so much for being so helpful and friendly and making an effort to learn English to communicate with us. It has been a pleasure working with you.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont"; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><u>Alvero</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Alvero - I love you. You are my ‘male friend’ whatever you may say about men and women not being able to be friends. That is how you will always remain. I’m glad we finally got our coffee too on the day you left to go back to Spain.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">I don’t know if it is because you are Spanish or if it is just your character, but you are warm and fun and full of life and it exudes and flows into everything you encounter. I just have to think of my summer course student, Florence - a very precocious and intelligent child with a great speaking ability - who had once been your term-time student. The child would utter some imaginative sentence followed by a drawling ‘Darrrrrling…’ that was incredibly accurate to your vernacular. It was a bit unnerving and felt slightly wrong coming out of a mouth of a young girl when I had heard it so often uttered from your moustache-y lips.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Your silly jokes (I won’t elaborate here because they were a bit politically incorrect) made me laugh and watching you and Bob go <i>‘Meatloaf / AC DC rockn’roll style’ </i>with shirts off at the KTV was a special thing. I also equally enjoyed those winter days watching movies (I’m so sorry about <i>League of their Own</i>) with me cooking you guys some Sunday grub round our cosy house. Anyway, you always had strong energy and we all felt it. I know wherever you go you’ll make your mark. Keep being you and you’ll never have any problems. Much love...</span></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", serif, emojifont;"><u>Billy</u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">A little mention purely because your coffee at your cafe Taya rocks and you put so much care into making it. This is how all businesses should be - driven by a passion and love for what you do and doing it right. I also think your toilet deserves an award for being so clean. I'll miss my usual hazelnut ice coffee with a touch of milk accompanied by a bloody good bacon sandwich. I'll miss sitting by the window, colouring and watching the day go by...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><b><u>Bob</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Bob, you were always going to be a hard one to write for and I imagine writing this may take some time and rephrasing because I don’t know where to begin! As a housemate you are Trampy Mctramp - a forceful whirlwind picking up stuff from outside and flinging it far and wide across our flat making it colourful and chaotic - from stolen ship steering wheels to a multitude of re-chargeable lights from Unit nightclub. This is not a bad thing really (bar the continuous need for cleaning and rearranging) because it makes the place homely and like a shop of curiosities. Though I will never agree with your ideology that beach sand - brought in from towels and swimsuits- is a great thing to leave be and not mop up, because it feels like we are at the beach… no mate, it just sticks to my feet and feels gross and winds up in my bed…</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">As someone with mild cleaning OCD, on paper you are not my typical, ideal housemate, but there is more to life than cleaning and when you do/did make an effort around the house it always made me happy and showed me you are a most considerate roomie. The cleaning doesn’t really matter though -it's trivial. What's more important and of substance and weight is that you brought personality, life and music to the house and your presence was a big essence of its beating heart. In that way I loved living with you and I can't think of a better housemate combo. My favourite moments were our lazy days, hungover from the night before. On such days we would eat Thousand Island pizza or MacDonald’s for breakfast, take frequent daytime naps, watch old 80’s movies and play a plethora of music and just hang out - Ciske doing her Chinese studies or painting, you fashioning origami cranes or reading political news bulletins or watching Curb your Enthusiasm, me colouring or watching some self-help videos.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">The days when Alvero was about, back in the Autumn, were also the ‘good old days’ for me. Debates about tunes and movies where Ciske and Maria would roll their eyes and later come to mimic us for what they deemed our absurd desire to demonstrate our knowledge and opinions on film classics - a thing we later decided was a rather British trait (but maybe it was just us...? Who knows?!).</span><span class="x_Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">I loved our nights down the KTV with you and Alvero rocking it out with your shirts off (as aforementioned in Alvero’s message) or grooving around our house - particularly after watching Allan Partridge, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Cuddly Toy</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"> by Roachford will always remind me of that day - though these disco days of impromptu dancing had to be curtailed a little due to noise complaints.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">You are a big presence Bob and you have a lot of opinions and ideas and you are full of creativity. You are a sensitive soul - probably why we see eye to eye and get on most of the time -but that’s only because you care so much about people and life - you probably missed your calling as as the next Bob Dylan or the Boss with your depth of character and energy…well, there is still time to rescue it with your little Chinese fiddle instrument… that could be the ‘new sound’, East meets West with some 80’s vibe mixed in with a tramp fashion style. Move over hipsters… this is the real 'authentic' deal. Anyway, I could go on but I’ve got so much more to write still. Just know I love you and all your wonderful ways, you're a special person and I’ll miss you a lot.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><b><u>Café Lady</u></b></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Cafe Lady - You don’t speak English so our conversations were limited to my Chinese. They went like this -<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><i>Hello. I want cake!</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><i>This cake! Delicious! I want cold coffee. Little milk. Thank you.</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Then she would cut me a piece of cake and I would say.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><i>How big! Hmm Delicious.</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Then I would take it and say:</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><i>Bye Bye.</i></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">And she would laugh at me. It was a nice regular moment in our daily routine. Thank you cafe lady for being cute with your boy-ish haircut and shy smile and for accommodating my eccentric goofy nonsense and lame Chinese.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><br /></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><u><b>Cathy</b></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Cathy, like Ieva, you are also a woman of integrity, stability and trust and you are a secret keeper. Cathy, you are generous and kind and always up for adventure. For me, you are also a metaphorical rose bud like Ieva. The more I know you, the more your beauty shines - your smile and laughter is infectious and your skin and eyes literally glow when you do it. Its cheesy, I know, but I can picture you as some subject in a PreRaphealite painting - especially with your love for braiding.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont"; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">You are special and sincere and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. I think your attitude to money is also a lesson for me. It is the right one and I wish to learn your ways! Since you arrived we have also all be impressed with your stamina and discipline for running and you keep looking fitter and trimmer (there’s something about China and people getting into sports/the gym etc). I hope you achieve your goals and I hope the rest of the year goes well for you in teaching and adventures.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont"; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", serif, emojifont;"><u>Ciske</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Ciske -My favourite moments with you have always been our cooked dinners - chicken livers - enjoyed with a glass of red wine or beer at our dining room table, discussing our daily lives and dissecting our experiences. In these moments, I feel we became particularly close and I thought our dynamic was as symbiotic as one could have hoped for with a housemate. Our epic 3 day house clean is also a great memory from my time in China with all the weird things we discovered hidden away and our exclamations of disgust or bewilderment in moments when we found or touched something unsavory festering away in some forgotten corner.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"></span><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">There are songs we’ve played and I’ll play again at home where I will always see you doing your ciskey-dance - swaying happily with a bit of a bounce from side to side, a cute smile on your face. I loved all the effort you made with my birthday decorations - the hand-drawn moustache straws and coloured balloons- and our adventure to Mao mountain for your own celebrations (although it was not as high as you had hoped and full of steps) is a day I’ll always remember for its uniqueness and the beauty of that lake which we had all to ourselves.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"></span><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">You are a very honest, true person who doesn’t mince her words. You’ve challenged me at times to stop and think from another perspective and you command a lot of respect from me (and others around you) by being this way. I have learnt a lot from you quietly. I cried a fair bit after saying goodbye to you when you left for University the other morning - you are a beautiful girl with a cool style inside and out. I hope I will see you again one day. Much love...</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><b></b><u></u><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Cristina</u></b></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cristina - we have said so much to each other in text messages and face to face that to repeat it all here again seems a bit redundant. You and I both know where we stand and how we feel about things and each others as we have talked a lot in the lead up to me going. When we work like this together - up front and openly - we are able to iron out any misunderstandings or problems and express our love and appreciation for one another.</span><span class="x_Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We’ve had our ups (and they have been very fun, amazing ups from scaling that bloody Huashan mountain that I thought could be the end of me, you, yourself, puffing a little from a sudden bout of asthma, but us trying to get up that thing urging each other on - what an achievement!! - and exploring Laoshan together - a beautiful, magical day I’ll always remember for its views, company and food - that lady swinging and battering that poor fish and chasing you with it- to simple things like banter in the office about ‘hap-penis’ and silly jokes and kids songs) and our downs (but with our downs we always found a way eventually, and through them we learnt many a thing or two from one another) but I think they are all of great value and have made us better friends in the long run. (Jesh, that paragraph is one whole sentence…but I couldn’t think of how to write it any other way, grammar gods forgive me!)</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I have said, we can only do our best and none of us are perfect, but I believe good intentions and kindness can carry you a very long way. You have been a very generous friend and an example of strength for me in areas where strength has been lacking in my life - your spirit animal truly is a wolf. You have given me countless different perspectives to consider that I had never considered before and this has helped me to grow and you have definitely played a big part in my self-development this year. I hope I leave China stronger…the test will be when I arrive home. I feel stronger…thank you for helping me. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You are a gorgeous, scented, Latino belly-shaking lady with brains to boot. Oh and I love your kind-hearted, beautiful, diva-mother too!</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A big, tight squeeze to you and I will one day get to Cuba to see you and Jared. This is not goodbye, just adios amiga! Te amo mucho. </span><b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><b><u>
Daniel and Catherine</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Thank you guys for giving me this great year and opportunity. You were very helpful and I had a lot of fun working at your school and the staff celebrations were always very amusing! I hope it all goes well for you guys in the future. I also hope you both enjoy bringing you your lovely little girl. How you manage it all I don't know and it is pretty impressive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><u><b>Dennis</b></u></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Dennis - wherever you are I just wanted you to know you are crazy… in a good way… but you are. I never saw you scale that moving gravel truck and ride it to some unknown destination at 4am when drunk in the morning but Richard was sure to vividly paint the scene to all of us. Your walking handstands were impressive too. You were like a shy little bunnyfoofoo caught in headlights during the day and a mad-irish acrobat at night.</span></span></div>
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<b style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", serif, emojifont;"><u>Eduardo </u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">We only met you at Christmas (and maybe one other time?!) but you were a lot of fun and you made Christmas great too. Like Luke you also carried a legacy - one of respect and admiration. I loved how thoughtful that video was that you made for everyone and Maria and I were touched to be included in it when we were so new. That was very thoughtful of you. I would have loved to have know you better...maybe one day our paths will cross. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Frank - It was a pleasure knowing you briefly. I didn’t think we were 100% well-suited (who is?) - we differed in a lot of aspects - but you were a decent person and I enjoyed spending time with you over the summer. You made me feel good about my body in a way that will always stay with me, because you didn’t subscribe to the typical ‘media’ dictated form of beauty - super thin and no curves - and knowing you was a good reminder lesson that beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. I also enjoyed our conversations and debates, but I held back at times because I worried we would get too deep into them if we weren’t careful. You know I think you have the best butt on the planet and I had fun telling you that. I’d like to say I hope we meet again but I’m not sure we will. I hope you save enough for your masters and eventually go on to fulfil your dreams in cosmetics. Take care, be safe and I’m sure God will always be with you.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">I barely knew you but you were very helpful with advice when I needed it. It is a shame we didn't see more of you, but I think your Chengyang days were behind you. I hope whatever you are doing now you are happy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont"; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Glen - I’ve never met a person like you really. Sometimes I look at you and its weird. I see you like a character out of a 1980’s sci-fi horror novel (Did you ever read anything by Christopher Pike?) set in California - the writer with the classic open-roofed Cadillac who gets unwittingly embroiled in some drama he would normally be writing about, for his life is usually his bedroom desk, paper, pens and books. Maybe there is something in this - you yourself said when you open yourself up to invitations and new things you are surprised and enjoy yourself. I would have loved to have seen you out more but then again maybe such drinking events are just not your cup of tea. I was glad to see you at the beach gathering recently, though I didn’t get a chance to talk to you much. When we have spoken I’ve enjoyed our conversations. I'm glad I got to talk to you a little on my last evening too - even if I was cut off by drinking games. You are the right balance of inquisitive - something I’ve yet to master myself with my questions which I fire out like rounds of ammunition: a full on assault form of interrogation.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">You are a quirky guy, very intelligent and a deep thinker. An image just sprung to mind of you wading solitary by the edge of the sea with your jeans on the other day…I feel like the strangeness of this brief spectacle says a lot about your character. There’s definitely some anarchist in you, a silent fuck-you to the system crusader. I may as well say it now also, I always suspected you to be the text book writing culprit. A few of us (me in particular) took pleasure in playing sleuth and your handwriting and timetable/ reports led me to this hypothesis. I never told you my suspicions, but quietly I fancied this to also be a form of your fuck-you expression, but I know I was romanticizing it - especially after our last chat. I understand things a lot more now. I hope the rest of the year will be super good to you... Oh and before I move onto my next message, you’re an attractive guy…not just according to Sofie…hahaha</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Hello Ieva, I think that of all the people here, you were like a closed flower for me - a bud that opened slowly and by the end of my time here, I was really taken by who you are. In the winter and with study you didn’t come out much and I began to form some idea of who you are, but by summer time my opinion had developed a lot. I think you are more of a party animal than me when you put your mind to it! Especially after hearing of your escapades in South Korea searching for cute Korean boys to kiss and corrupt with Maria.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">I also think you are a person with a lot of integrity. You are good, fair and trustworthy plus you don’t suffer fools gladly. You have a reputation, unlike myself, of being a person who can really keep a secret and this has been noted and admired and respected on many occasion within the group. I could certainly learn a thing or two from you.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">You have your passions and you communicate them effectively and infectiously. I love your naughtiness - your little Muttly reminiscent cackle heh-heh-heh (see the dog in the Wacky races for this reference) when you are up to mischief - you are a playful pussycat of a person with a passion for games and tricks and I think you inspired everyone on your birthday with your talents at climbing - you spider woman you! You are 100% unique, there is no one like you, so don’t ever change. And I’d be interested to know all the things you have achieved by the end of your life. You’ve done so much already. You are the person to go for travel advice and you are very thorough. All your cats (instead of grandchildren) will be a captive audience (so long as you have tuna supplies) for your many tales and travel anecdotes in years to come.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Jared you have a great heart and a wise soul. Your wife is always quick to champion this and rightly so. Your empathy runs deep and this makes you brilliant and highly valued because you give people the time, thought and care - from your students to your friends and to even strangers in stories and news reports. You were the first person I properly had a great conversation with when I arrived - scrap the small talk, let’s go big - and in that small moment you were the most attractive person at the Korean bbq because I didn’t want the conversation to stop. I hope Cristina doesn’t mind me saying that! But I say it to highlight how your depth and passion on certain topics makes you so interesting and engaging.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">I think you have tons of potential as a manager of people and I’d like to see what creative, ecological and people led projects you and Cristina put into fruition in the coming years. You guys are a powerhouse together - I’ve seen you in action. I’ll never forget that time in Xi’an when we order what appeared to be a succulent, meaty duck from the picture menu, only to be presented with what would be more adequately described as shriveled anorexic duck or duck once eaten, whose bones had been sucked clean and rebaked. Cathy, Maria and I were ready to put it down to misadventure and bad luck with menu selection, but with your broken beginner’s Chinese you and Cristina went for it with all your might and demanded they remove the price from the bill. You were met with some resistance and claims that this was how it was meant to be served, but you were having none of it. It was at this moment I was certain that you two can do / achieve almost anything if you so wish together. We left without paying for the duck.</span></div>
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Joris – you have one of the biggest hearts I have seen in a man. You were always interested in everyone and prepared to listen and give people time – be it on more high-brow topics to how to style one’s hair. You have a lot of talents and enthusiasm for life as well as intelligence. It’s cheesy, but I would say you have done your mother proud. You are also very huggable. Although you were taller than me you came to be like a younger brother to me in some ways. I like how we have kept in touch and I hope I get to see you in Europe again one day! The place lost a little of its shine when you and Nick left. You guys had a great, positive impact and we all felt your absence. You were always up for things and had so much energy to give. I wonder what adventures lie ahead for you next. I’ll always be interested to hear about them.<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"><span class="x_Apple-converted-space"></span></span></div>
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Katia - although you are not part of the Chengyang Premier English pose I am glad I met you and I feel like you deserve a special mention. I love your zest and witty character as well as your stark honesty and upfront nature. You always have a cheeky sparkle in your eye. I’ve always been drawn to very honest people so say it how it is and this is you. I’ve enjoyed our dances, chats and friendship and I loved our crazy 'sado' night before I left - you are one hot hostess with the moistest! I truly wish you happiness, adventure and success in your life and thank you for your very thoughtful message. I felt the same when I met you too - an instant positive feeling - there must be something in it! Like attracts like...!</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Unfortunately Lewis you weren't around very long but you seemed like a gentle and friendly character. I'm not sure China was your cup of tea but not all countries are designed for everyone. It took me years to work up the nerve to come here myself - it overwhelmed me the first time at 23. I hope you do try some other places and have other adventures. Good luck in whatever you are doing and having fun with now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Luke -I’m sorry I missed your days in Chengyang. In Bob’s words recently - ‘Luke was a pivotal personality here in his time.’ I could definitely see that as I was arriving and your legacy stretched out beyond your leaving. The other day, I was walking past a classroom and your voice from some recording boomed out and using your computer I often find your old files and things. Bob and Cristina frequently talk fondly about you too. I think you are a very talented singer and I hope you keep that up - nothing more draws a group together than a guitar and a good sing-song. I was fortunate enough to go to my first KTV with you and Joris and I know I broke the KTV rules filming but I don’t care, it was 100% worth it - your Gangham Style was through the roof!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maria - Hola bebeh! Como estas? Tal vez puedo escribir este mensaje en español pero mi español es mierda…entonces voy a escribir en ingles. Oh Maria! What a year we have had as a non-lesbian couple. It has been a blast. A total, mega blast. It wouldn’t have been so wonderful without all your love and support. I always felt you had my back and I hope I was able to do the same. I felt so sad the morning we said goodbye. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I don’t know how or why we clicked…I know you were like ‘what the hell?!’ (Kelly) when you first met me but that just makes it even more funny. What external forces were at play to make it all so symbiotic and harmonious? I’ll never know… if only I could find a guy like this and then I’d have myself a husband…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Anyway, I know you are going to be sad and I am probably gonna cry too, but whilst it will feel weird I’ll only be a text away so message me whenever you like. Even if it is just to tell me that you had a particularly delicious tuna sushi roll or if you just want to make ‘wehweh’ noises down the phone…Louise and I remained close the whole year I was away and technology is so great these days that anything is possible. In a couple of years maybe you’ll get over to Europe and I’ll be back from Asia with some money and we can live in the same town and set up some cafe-come-youth hostel-come-school or whatever venture…you never know! You never know how life is going to be…</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I can’t believe you got me to get a tattoo…that says a lot about our friendship and when I look back I have so many fabulous memories. I feel very blessed…I think Beijing is our ‘city’ I have to say with all the fun we had there, but there are so many other smaller places I’ll think of where we used to hang - from simply taking the bus to the city and wasting time at the mall to Yantai and Unit and the sushi place.</span><span class="x_Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And of course I’ll never be able to watch Shoes or Charlie or any of those silly Youtube videos without thinking of you again. Bottles of red wine and face masks will also carry your ghost in their labels as well as images of sloths, pooches and anything silly and cute.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My hands are growing so tired now from writing on your computer in Taya cafe so I have to draw to a close but I just wanted to say two more things - 1. Thank you so so much for everything, you are just ‘simply the best’ (horse) and 2. What are you going to do with your life? I tell you what you’re going to do - you’re gonna get what you want, whatever it may be and all those onlookers are going to mutter…. Christ! (out of wide-eyed wonderment with their little scrunched up faces with party hats on) Love youuuuuuu!!! mwah mwah mwah </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Mark - I haven’t spent as much time with you as some of the others but from what I can see you are a big character full of knowledge and references who is extremely well read. You seem to live for the moment and take life in your stride which I think we should all aspire to. I don’t know if that comes with experiences or what but keep doing what you do! It’s encouraging. I’ve enjoyed your stories and I hope you have many more eyebrow raising adventures hereafter. You are also the pool king champion currently - will someone dethrone you in times to come I wonder?</span></div>
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Thank you for all your classes. They were very funny, memorable and quirky. You are a very generous, kind person who has a lot of style and flair. I loved all your outfits and when you came out with us it was a lot of fun. Thank you for showing us those fun music videos in Chinese and also 'Sexy Mandarin' (see youtube)! Lots of funny things to show friends back home! I hope I see you again one day...</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Matilda, Ivelina, Hannah and Rylan you are all the new generation - the newbies -but eventually you will be the oldies too. Time flies when you are having adventures and fun and being distracted by all the mischievous and funny antics of small children. You will get to where I am before you know it and look back at all the memories and wonder how time escaped you. Make use of the oldies for places to go and things to try but also get out there and make your experiences of China your own too. There is so much to do and it’s impossible to do it all in one year. You all seem like genuinely lovely people so I hope you settle in well and form strong bonds with those around you. Christmas and New Year, for me, was a great time when I felt the group all come together more than ever to support each other with being away from home. I hope you have as good a festive season as I did because it isn’t easy to work at such a time, but the gang made it special with lots of activities, effort and seasonal cheer. I’ll be interested to hear how you get on and if we ever cross paths again, look me up for a drink and a catch up.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<b>Matilda</b> - your art is amazing and you are a really upbeat, enthusiastic person.</div>
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<b>Hannah</b> - I wish I could have seen your KTV debut! I bet that will be impressive...plus you seem like a very chilled out, friendly person too.</div>
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<b>Rylan</b> - good luck with the Let's Begin class. I hope you manage to rein in the hyperactive child and learn a lot. </div>
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<b>Ivelina</b> - thank you so much for your beautiful picture and I hope you find your dream place to be and life with time. You also have a great positive energy and I'm sure things will work out for you.</div>
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<b><u>Nick</u></b></div>
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Nick – getting to know you was a very rewarding experience. At first I was unsure of how to handle you because of the intensity and intelligence you reflected through your strong opinions and desire for debate. It’s a cliche I know, but the toughest nuts are often the best ones to crack open. This was certainly true for me with you. I have a lot of respect for you and you have great music taste to boot. I always think of you now when I play <i>' Instant Crush'</i> by Daft Punk too - which is often I have to say, I think I’ve come close to overplaying it.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Owen - you haven’t been at the school long but you have been ever so helpful and you are a very kind-hearted, gentle person and you helped me out a lot with transferring money and easing my stresses over it so I won’t forget that. I hope work goes well for you and I hope you find all you are looking for. Take care.</span></div>
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<b><u>Pete</u></b></div>
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It was short but sweet Pete, you were a welcomed addition to the long summer, bringing some joy and light with you. I thought you were pretty mature for your age and very adaptable and easy-going. Possibly wise before your time. I hope your travels were fun and it was good knowing you. Maybe see you again some day!</div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Even before day 1 you made your impact - your name preceding your grand entrance and signaling your integral part to play in this Chinese Big Brother Bubble. Hello Richard Parker, the man who watches all and doesn’t miss a thing. I have to say many of your observations and commentary are spot on, relayed in a very down-to-earth, chew-the-fat, kind of pub manner. You are very astute and when you realise you are wrong, you don’t hesitate to apologise which I think shows great strength and decency. I do think you are a very strong person - from all that you have told me from your work and past. Not many people could have done the job you used to do. I know the past has taken its toll as you, yourself, told me, but I think you have come to a good place and are in good company to let go and relax a little now. I hope you and Jared really get stuck into your mixing and eventually hold your own dj set. I really enjoyed all the tunes you have played down the beach.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">I hope you have a cracking year despite some of the mishaps and chaos from going to work at the new school branch and I hope this is just the beginning of lots more adventures and discoveries.<span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><b><u>Sofie</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Sofie - thank you for your cheerful nature and help with students. You weren’t my SC but I always heard good things about you. I hope you enjoy your new role and are happy.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><u>Sunny</u></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">Sunny - Thank you for all your help and patience. Not only for me but for all the teachers. You help us with all our life admin issues and without you we would be stuck! You are much needed and much valued. Thank you ten times over, really. And you were my first friend on the day I arrived. :) Big hug.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Tomas - Hey Manager Tomas! (said in a way to mimic how you talk to the kids full of excessive cheer) How are you today?!</span><span class="x_Apple-converted-space" style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What do I say about you? Well… you know I like you a lot and always have done and you are a tough person to get close to, but I am more than satisfied with how our friendship evolved and turned out despite the clumsy/semi-awkward beginnings. You didn’t come out enough for us to form lots of ‘adventure memories’ and ‘tight bonds’ but we had our little space at work and lunches for funny chats and laughs which were special in their own right. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">I’m glad you let me into your life a little and shared with me and I think we became quite good friends by the end. I know you probably won’t make great efforts to stay in touch because you’ll be busy and you have never been that kind of person, but fortunately I am good at that sort of thing. Whenever you and Zuzana are back in Europe, you are more than welcome to visit me if I ever get my place in Spain and I’ll still hold you to our clubbing deal though I suspect that will also never come to fruition with your ‘party’ track record. Still, you never know, still a chance to surprise me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Good luck with running the school, keep working on the areas you still need to improve on and I hope later down the line you achieve whatever else you set your heart on.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif , "emojifont";"><span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Winnie</span></u></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Winnie - you are smart and generous and probably too good for this school and job. Everyone loved you and repeatedly sung your praises when all us teachers were together. You were a firm favourite and it is a shame we have lost you but for an extended holiday in the US - I completely understand!</span><span class="x_Apple-converted-space"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";"><b><u>Zuzana</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">Zuzana, I’ve already said my goodbyes to you once but I can’t write all this and miss you out. I had hoped I’d see you more these last few months but with the opening of the school at Laoshan it has unfortunately not been the case. It is a shame but sometimes that is how it rolls. Needless to say I think you are a person worth knowing - you are relaxed, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont";">kind and gentle and you always have a smile on your face. I know you once told me that sometimes you feel nervous or tense on the inside but it never shows. I wish I had some of your control! Anyway, I hope the rest of your time here in China is useful and productive and I hope you and Tomas go on to create something great later down the line. I'm also sorry I missed you but you never know, our paths may cross again in this small world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont"; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">Phew...I hope I didn't miss anyone out. Sorry for any errors...I'm too tired to reread all this again. xxx</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , serif , "emojifont"; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">P.S Check out these <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1AZ259cGp1nAb7iOfQDS-w?view_as=subscriber">videos</a> of us all... </span></div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-86318277463142658462017-09-02T20:24:00.000-07:002017-09-03T08:03:33.281-07:00What I will miss about life in Qingdao..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Shortly, I will publish a set of goodbye messages on this blog to those I've worked with or spent a lot of time with. These will be semi detailed and give any readers some inside picture of my life and relationships here in China. Before I do this, I want to just list a few material and non-material things I will also miss. Also, bear in mind when reading that where I live has a lot of Korean and Japanese influence unlike other parts of China.<br />
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Here we go...<br />
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I'll miss my Chinese bed. It's hard. It's basically a board with a two 2cm mattresses. I can put my coffee down on it in the morning and I can safely rely that it won't spill over as I move around the bed. I would never have thought such a hard thing would bring such peaceful sleeping but I've slept pretty darn good this year. Now I want one of these set ups back home.<br />
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I'll miss going into Japanese restaurants and seeing on the tv either some cooking show featuring a white cat onlooking or a show all about a business man deciding where to eat and then basically eating his lunch- see a collage below that I made...<br />
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I'll miss kimchi. It's tangy and good for your gut and the taste grows on you. It's delicious.<br />
I'll miss these tiny little fish from the Korean bbq- they are chewy, salty and sticky and sweet and chilli...<br />
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I'll miss my cold ice hazelnut coffee made lovingly by Billy from Taya cafe ... and sitting there colouring and reading my book. I'll even miss it's super clean squat toilet. The cleanest squat toilet I've seen in china. Billy takes his little cafe very seriously and he's always happy.<br />
I'll miss the best sushi of my life... (and it's Korean made sushi at that) complete with freebies every time we go and for only £3. (Fling head back and weep desperately)<br />
I'll miss bbq pork heart on the Korean bbq and bbq mushrooms strips which I then dip in grey salt that looks like a class A drug and enjoy.<br />
I'll miss banana ice lollies for 11p.<br />
I'll miss hot tea eggs from youke 24 hour convenience store - especially when purchased late at night with the munchies...a<br />
I'll miss a big ice cold Qingdao beer after work. The only beer my booze beaten stomach can just about tolerate.<br />
I'll miss the Koren bakery's brioche bacon buns and weird egg and cheese and ham sandwiches.<br />
I'll miss incredibly cheap, street-sold baozi- little steamed buns with meat.<br />
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I'll miss Waimai- all the food delivery you could want delivered directly to your door.<br />
I'll miss Weechat pay... who needs money or cards anymore?!<br />
I'll miss Taobao -Chinas's biggest online shopping platform- although I barely used it but just the fact it existed helped make life easier.<br />
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I'll miss the security guards at my compound who try to say hello with big grins every morning as I ride by on my squeaky bike. And the toothy grinning old lady who wants my empty beer bottles and rubbish. And the inquisitive little girl in a princess dress who wants to know why I can't speak Chinese at the local shop. And the lady who looks after my bike when I go to the supermarket for a few pennies.<br />
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I'll miss the buzz of cicadas as they return to hibernation.<br />
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I'll miss watching the building across the road which went up in my time here- I want to see people using it. I never will.<br />
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I'll miss long morning cab rides after big party nights out, travelling through a silent world of concrete and under/over passes as the sunrises.<br />
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I'll miss hitting the local Chinese shops and night markets in hope of finding decent clothing but only seeing sea after sea of bright inane patterned shirts and over the top sequinned jumpers. And ridiculous t-shirts with captions like 'please daddy don't make me cry again' or 'fuck you' and 'my daughter's a feminist' or just random words like 'peanut butter'- because... why not?!<br />
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I'll miss bike rides down the roads taking in the sea of Chinese signage in the shade of leafy trees protecting me from the hot sun.<br />
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I'll miss the 24 hour spas...and cheap massages and embracing nudity with my girlfriends.<br />
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I'll miss smoggy blood orange suns and the occasional glimpse of mountains from my house.<br />
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I'll miss the wooden floors of my apartment and ample space to dance to Bob Marley when everyone is out of the house and other tunes when everyone is home together.<br />
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I'll miss the unique intimate venue of Unit underground night club and all the memories there- from kisses and boogie moves to deep and meaningfuls and silly photo shoots. Some of the dj's ruled too! And the bar staff there are super friendly and generous. It's a special, special place for me.<br />
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There are too many things...<br />
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Ah me... life. A series of goodbyes, and hellos. Always so many letting go's...Xxx<br />
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-10764770222668672872017-08-22T19:15:00.001-07:002017-08-22T19:37:21.198-07:00The then and now of life in China<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today a new recruit arrived and I was chatting to my boss about the different stresses for new arrivals. 'Everyone has a different set of worries and stresses.' he said, and just like the time I was 18 and leaving Peru, I suddenly found myself reflecting on the then and the now. What it's like to be new in a place and what it's like to leave a 'veteran'.<br />
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It's a thoughtful and reflective moment in the process of living abroad. It doesn't have to even be triggered from living abroad itself, but as things are about to change it's not unusual for a bout of reflection to come over oneself.<br />
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<b>Who I was when I came to China...</b><br />
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A year ago I came to China. I was nervous and a little fearful. At first I daren't go into restaurants for worry of there being no picture menus. It took me quite some time to relax in this respect.<br />
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As always, as the newbie, you find yourself silently desperate to seek out a comrade or someone you can confide in and trust. I was eager and keen to forge connections. Typically, perhaps I was a bit too zealous - like an over-enthusiastic golden retreaver jumping up and down with my anecdotes and stories. A lot of us do this- I see it often. We pull out all our interesting bits like medals from dusty memory draws and wangle them about to dazzle and to allur. You, yes you- you want my friendship as much as I really need yours right now...<br />
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Often with a new job there is the mild fear of different teaching expectations and students and whether you are good enough and capable enough of handling them. This fear was quickly overcome as I was thrown into the deep end and started working the day I arrived or the day after. I'm glad for it. It got one big thing out the way and confirmed to me that I know what I'm doing when it comes to my job- thankfully! Even with different students from a different country.<br />
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Catching the bus to town was also a big step. A big, scary Chinese city... what if I get lost? Thankfully I had Maria, the other newbie, as my partner in crime to hold my hand. Thank goodness for that!<br />
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I was also in awe of my colleagues who could speak some Chinese and catch taxis... would I ever be like that? <br />
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The streets and places seemed unfamiliar and alien. I noticed all the bright lights at night and the foreign smells. It all seemed a bit rough round the edges because I didn't know it.<br />
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When I arrived I was also still quite heavily exploring some self-help relationship aspects through ted.com and various books. They were my crutches, helping me through a period of self-discovery I guess.<br />
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<b>Who I China leave as...</b><br />
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Well that's the thing... on the topic above... I've noticed I've stopped watching those videos and reading those books. So the dust has settled and I'm in no need of other's words of wisdom currently. I suspect it won't always stay that way, but I also wonder if I've outgrown it... I guess time will tell.<br />
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So maybe that means I've grown stronger in my self-belief and ability. Maybe I've relaxed into the idea that what will be will be. Not really dating until the end of my time here gave me a lot of time to get comfortable with being on my own. So maybe that's a new thing I leave with?<br />
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After China nowhere I want to go seems as daunting. I know I can do it with that right tools and mentality. I faced the challenge of this place and I overcame it. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be either. Some of my Chinese students asked me how I travel without fear for my safety in class yesterday. At first I didn't know how to respond. In the end I told them you just keep taking steps forward. You build your confidence up. You keep alert and you pray you are never truly unlucky -because there will always be a horror story somewhere - and you just keep going and don't allow fear to win. If you let fear overcome you, you'd never leave home!<br />
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I also fully trust that I can make friends - that given time people will warm to me or failing that, it isn't the end of the world if they don't. I can accept differences a little more than before and I know I would just have to get on with it. I've also learnt to let go a little more maybe when things aren't working.<br />
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My Chinese is marginally better than when I arrived! Hurrah! I'm the taxi hailer now, the person helping the newbies. I guess this is just simply a rite of passage but I always thrive on being on this side of the coin rather than being the bewildered. There is strength in knowledge and with that a sense of safety which you wish to impart to those feeling less secure and fresh off the boat/plane. One day they will rise too and the cycle continues as it should and must.<br />
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Those foreign unfamiliar streets now look comfortable and friendly to me. They are the images I've seen over and over for the last year. They are imprinted on my brain and will come to fade as the years roll by only to crop up in some dream many years from now, startling me with their clarity and bringing this life back so vividly it makes me catch my breath with painful nostalgia. This I know from my other lives.<br />
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I also hope after all the meat eating here to return to the western world embracing my veggies and healthier life style. I've been reading about factory farming and I want to try harder with my efforts. I also want to exercise more as I now, at such a late stage, truly see the benefits and my God will I be appreciative of the fresh English countryside air and the public smoking ban than ever before.<br />
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There are probably more things I could say but these are some thoughts currently whirring through my brain. There will be a few more posts to come on life in China and my goodbyes before I move onto the next chapter. Breaking this bubble is going to hurt I suspect but I also will enjoy the change that is coming because I like the way it shakes me up and makes me think.<br />
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Until next time xxx</div>
The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-73884847736523211032017-08-11T07:16:00.001-07:002017-08-11T07:16:48.286-07:00Consent<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This might seem a strange blog post, but it is something that resonated with me recently. I have a close friend who I speak to on a regular basis- probably more than any other friend and we often discuss relationships and help solve each other's problems and offer advice. She likes to take her issues and dating problems and explore her frustrations and ideas within spoken poetry. Our last conversation was all about consent and a poem she was writing in relation to her experiences. It's also a hot topic for me in particular after those lines became blurred in a recent relationship. However, after many text and voice exchanges on the topic this weekend, I've come to realise this issue has permeated my love life as far back as I can remember. I just didn't know how to label it or even recognise it.<br />
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Countless times I've browsed articles in newspapers concerning rape and consent but not really waded in deep enough or thought about the issue extensively. I have always sided with the victims in such articles and have agreed on the importance of consent but I didn't fully understand what consent meant. I thought - if a woman says 'no' then that's it right? If she verbally says yes, that's it surely? It should be...<br />
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But what if a woman says no to a man she really likes because she isn't ready yet... and then he doesn't respect those words and tries to cajole and persuade her? What if he's already in her bed and grinding into her back, slowly trying his luck? What if after a while of such assertiveness and comments like 'I'm so horny' or 'you're giving me blue balls' and kisses on the back of the neck that don't relent... what if she gives in to pressure? Did she truly want it? Is this consent? Technically, but it's a grey area.<br />
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My friend - Louise Mcstravick - wrote the following poem to explore this topic and I will quote some sections to illustrate some of her thoughts on the matter. The ... indicate parts missing for the purpose of copyright.<br />
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Just because we are a little more than friends<br />
Just because I invited you into my bed<br />
Doesn't mean I give you my consent<br />
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Just because you said it was late<br />
And you didn't want to get the last bus home<br />
So you could stay<br />
Doesn't mean I give you my consent<br />
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Just because we kissed and fondled<br />
Doesn't mean I give you my consent<br />
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So when we are in bed and I'm trying to sleep<br />
And you creep beside me and try to make me<br />
Do things I'm not ready to do,<br />
I say no and you keep pushing<br />
But I'm not giving you my consent<br />
And you persist with your relentless touching<br />
But I still haven't given you my consent<br />
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You keep telling me you really want me,<br />
That you want sex....<br />
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...but compliments aren't going to coherse my consent<br />
Because I'm not ready yet....<br />
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... you kiss me, I kiss you back.<br />
I like you does that mean I want to fuck you?<br />
Because I kiss you back?<br />
I didn't know it would be like that...<br />
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You call me a dick tease, frigid.<br />
I don't want to be a dick tease.<br />
I like you. I want to kiss you.<br />
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I didn't want you here. <br />
I'd rather be alone.<br />
But you told me it's too late to go home<br />
And I trusted you to respect my boundaries.<br />
Is that wrong of me?<br />
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But for some reason you think my body is yours to take.<br />
That you can make me want it by taking the initiative.<br />
My consent is not yours to give and I'm not giving it....<br />
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How bad would I have felt if I gave in...<br />
If I was giving my consent you would know...<br />
I'd be helping you to struggle to take off my dress<br />
I'll be unzipping, I'll caress, I'll pull myself closer...<br />
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Would you feel good on this occasion<br />
If I were cohersed or even forced into copulation?<br />
A situation not out of mutual understanding but cohersion<br />
Is how lines can get blurred and lives can get ruined...<br />
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(The full poem is really good, this doesn't fully capture it and when she reads it out loud it definitely has a lot of power... and maybe she shall publish it at some point)<br />
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Having heard this, and spoke to her at length I can recall countless times in my life where a boy's assertiveness has trumped my resolve and always it has ended badly for both parties. Sure, the boy gets what he wants but ultimately he loses. For me he takes many forms. He's the long term boyfriend who loses the interest of his girlfriend over time when she is half asleep and he's trying it on, turning sex into a reluctant routine. He's the guy who wants me to be his girlfriend so he drinks too much wine so he can't drive, tricks his way into my bed too soon and ends up with no relationship because I feel manipulated and disgusted. He's the so-called friend who offers a place to kip for the night but who secretly wants more. The so-called friend who has heard you say no multiple times that night and for very good reasons, but he doesn't care because he wants what he selfishly wants. His empty promises reassure you and lure you to his home but then his assertiveness disarms you with a moment of weakness which follows with months of regret. He's left eager for more and me: I want to cry and run the opposite direction for good. There are many more cases...<br />
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Sure, in all instances we could talk about self-worth. This is something I need to take responsibility for, but why aren't we women more assertive? Is it our social conditioning? Why do so many women who have heard Louise's poem offer a story of their own where they can relate? I'm not saying all women but there is a large number.<br />
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Equally, these men need to work on their self-control and respect for women in situations like these. As my friend pointed out, there are plenty of men out there who also read the situation correctly and refrain from pushing. What distinguishes one from the other? Sensitivity? Awareness? Care for the other? Culture and upbringing? What do you think? Can you add to this conversation?<br />
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As I write this post I remembered the lighthearted song from Flight of the Conchordes- a kiss is not a contract-- a parody on stereotypes so I'll leave on that note. It's a funny song but it's very true. More people need to be aware of this. We should certainly talk about it more and educate our young girls and boys and ourselves.<br />
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-34599335577195092082017-07-29T20:38:00.001-07:002017-07-29T20:38:29.997-07:00Changing Relationships<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Over the last few weeks a lot of different things have been happening in terms of relationships. A while ago I wrote about lost friends and then this issue propelled itself into the foreground of my life last week as the friend I was holding out for disappointed me deeply with his lack of care and loyalty.</div>
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At first, I underwent a lot of mixed emotions as the landscape changed and the ground wobbled beneath my feet. I became introspective and began to review and reassess my role to play in this outcome. I'm not foolish enough to only believe fault lies on one side, but often I am all too quick to self-flagellate (metaphorically) and doubt myself. I can cause myself a lot of unnecessary extra pain.</div>
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Talking to close friends, reading and reflecting, I find myself now in a place where I am still a little shocked / surprised by life's events, but I'm okay. I can see how things are and internally I've sorted through stuff and I'm alright with myself once again. I can accept it and will move forward soon.</div>
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This story isn't totally what this post is about though. Its about our ever changing relationships: how things are always developing and evolving. How new people come and old people go -sometimes through circumstance, location and gently through time, not with a goodbye but an 'Au revoir', whilst others forcibly remove themselves sometimes.</div>
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We are all trying our best. A lot of us forget this. We all have our baggage and deep down we all seek appreciation and understanding. We also want some control of our lives and to feel empowered. We don't want to suffer where we can take decisive action and look after ourselves.</div>
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I think the thing I've learnt recently is that it is okay to say - this isn't working, it is toxic - but we should still endeavour to seek the good and thread love and kindness into our actions. It should always underlie our decisions. So its okay to walk away, to say 'Hasta la vista' but we should always leave our doors open and not burn bridges. We shouldn't slam that door. You slam doors and the vibrations shake the house, the door frame takes the impact and splinters. We think we are saving ourselves, but if we leave no chance for forgiveness and reconciliation nor hope, then we hurt ourselves too. I've seen enough people when drunk pour out all their remorse and regret, the anger that still sits with them years and years later from such actions and lack of closure.</div>
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Writing this, I also remember the powerful opening scene from the incredible series <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_(2015_film)">Human</a> (if you haven't watched it you should). The first scene shows us a man who, in all respects, many would say doesn't deserve forgiveness or closure. Yet the one person who should hate him the most and want to put as much space and distance between him and her, heals herself and him through her willingness to understand, forgive and still love in spite of the very painful circumstances. This should be an inspiring example for others.</div>
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Right now, in my own life, I will have to prepare myself to say goodbye to all my friends in China. Over the last year we've been through a lot together too. Expat life is intense. We bicker and fight like brothers and sisters and sometimes lose our way, but I think we also care about each other too and want each other's approval. We've all been very important to one another whether we choose to admit it or not because we provide each other with community and social interaction that human beings crave and need in a country where it is sometimes hard to connect with the locals quickly. When I leave China I will let go of my role within this dynamic. It will no longer matter where it once was paramount to my happiness and survival. </div>
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However, I will carry my memories and I remember the good connections (and the bad but without the stings) and I hope to stay in touch with people so that one day, if we ever meet again, we can have a bittersweet 'remembrance dance' so to speak or even find ourselves once again entwined somehow, though it will never be like this again.</div>
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I will go home to other people who I left behind, who were once my community long ago. I will slip back in with undoubtedly some bumps and friction little by little because we have fallen out of step and rhythm and we will need to find our way again. I will start University and new connections will also form. All these pieces moving around, adjusting, slotting in or falling out, just like a kaleidoscope. </div>
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I guess my point is, we all move around in a sort of dance. Rather than move with sharp edges and jerk and twist and bump or propel ourselves into one another or barge people out the way with our own egos and importance, let's try to glide and slide and gently love in our flow and let's not try to break anything for good. A cheesy metaphor I know but I've come to the end of this piece and that's all I've got today! Until next time...xxx </div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-55924692077590667002017-07-13T08:44:00.000-07:002017-07-13T08:47:22.665-07:00Last few months ahead<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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So it is that I can see the end of this adventure ahead. I have about eight weeks left before I fly home to England and begin my new life back at University in a country I haven't properly lived in for 5 years. I'm expecting some reverse culture shock and I'm expecting the marriage-baby peer pressure which will surely upset me at times, but I'm telling myself to keep calm.</div>
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At this stage in my life I have no idea what is up ahead in some ways. I know I will work hard to complete my masters and I suspect there will be some big challenges in the next five years. I want to travel a bit more, I want to grow my nest egg to buy a house by 40 but there is also only a small window left for having a family. I also want to make sure my mother is in a good situation too. Can I do it all in five years I wonder? Should I be thinking about it or should I be going with the flow? I don't know. I guess I just need to be a little careful with my choices and decisions. However I suspect life will take me where it must.</div>
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I'm so glad I made it to China. It opened up a whole new space inside my head in many ways. It made me realise there was nothing to fear. Wherever you go in the world you can make something of it with the right attitude. The strange and foreign will always eventually become familiar and manageable. It empowered me and made me hungry for more experiences and less likely to procrastinate through doubt about jumping into the unknown. It also made me very appreciative of my life back home as well.</div>
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I'm trying to savour every moment here now. From my usual delicious hazelnut ice coffee in the morning and my soft brioche bacon bread for breakfast from the local Korean bakery to exchanges and moments with my friends and colleagues at work and riding my bike through the street listening to the incredibly loud <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicada">cicadas</a> buzz and hum in the trees like electricity cables overloading to the brink of explosion. The heat is growing more and more oppressive and my bedsheets more and more damp and crinkled. I fight mosquitos to the death at night before clambering into bed... I wake up groggy with the warmth and use the cold shower to zap life into my body again so I can begin my day. The little every day things!</div>
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This routine will evaporate soon enough. The lazy sunny mornings will turn to darker, earlier ones with the British rain and commuting. The carefree weekends will become days of study and part time work. It won't be the same but nonetheless I will embrace it, yet I'll no doubt look back whimsically as I always do to this time now. I do it even now with photos of Spain and summers in London.</div>
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Anyway, not a lot more to say at this point except I should try and do a little more with these mornings, I'll wish for this spare time later.</div>
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Speak soon maybe xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-45423692277789909512017-07-04T19:36:00.002-07:002017-07-04T19:36:55.882-07:00Naked in China<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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In our area we have lots of 24 hour spas. They are amazing. This weekend we went clubbing at our favourite little underground club in a carpark (Unit - love that place) and then wandered out at 4am, one minute up the road and checked into one. We were given lockers, pjs and a toothbrush and toothpaste and a reclinable bed for the night, which you could adjust at a push of a button.</div>
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The next day we had access to a variety of swimming pools, saunas and steam rooms and had a leg massage for our tired dancing limbs. This - accommodation, facilities and massage - came to a meagre £18 if you convert it. It is so luxurious for such a cheap price. Just the thing for our hangover- and having worked 20 weeks now without a week off, going straight into the summer term, it also helped a little to ease our cabin fever. Just a little change of scenery does wonders.</div>
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<i>(some views from inside)</i></div>
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There is also free wifi, a cafe, a restaurant, a KTV booth, areas for kids, a gym and a cinema...to name a few other facilities. You can spend the whole day there if you so wish. I can't express enough how nice it was. We were there for at least 12 hours.</div>
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There is just a little thing though- men and women are separate for the pools because it is custom to go in naked. For some, this isn't such a big deal, but when it comes to nudity I'm quick to notice my British prudishness and discomfort. It's funny how your culture influences your perceptions of things.</div>
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The Chinese and Korean ladies have no qualms. They are there scrubbing each other's backs and inner thighs, blow drying their muffs and digging their hands into all their private nooks and crannies without any shame, not a care in the world, legs bent and bits on display for everyone to see. Compare this to me trying inadequately to use a towel the size of a napkin to cover my nether regions as I walk gingerly to the baths... I think all the women working there must have found it rather amusing.</div>
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Actually, in Korea, I was alright with being naked around strangers in such spas - in fact, I really like the free feeling of being in my birthday suit - but this was a new dilemma, chilling out starkers with my mates...The concept in my mind just felt weird. But the thing is - it's just a concept. So we just went for it. 1-2-3 tops off, 1-2-3 vaginas say hello. Now, we've got the preliminaries over, let's go soak! The water helps hide things again anyway and moving from pool to pool, you don't need to look back or overthink it. We all high-fived each other and felt proud.</div>
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Having overcome this inner challenge, I then took a closer look at all the Asian bodies around me - as I did when in Korea too - and enjoyed the fact that we all come in different shapes and sizes. In the media we get images of what our culture defines as the most beautiful feminine forms but every culture is different. As I have aged, I've gone from being a skinny teenager who got pulled over by teachers wondering if I had anorexia (I didn't I was just a fussy, melancholic teenager with a fast metabolism - my later found passion for cheese speed it up) to being quite a plump peach in all the places us western women bemoan.</div>
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Going to the beach, I'm always self-conscious of my tummy and thighs. I think back to my teenage days and secretly will my stomach to self-flatten, but it's silly really. It's just my conditioning. I realised this recently when dating a guy from Uganda who wanted to celebrate just those body parts I screw my nose up at when looking in the mirror. Yet, he wanted something large enough to grab so these parts were regarded as beauty for him. That could be him, and I suppose it could be also part of his culture.</div>
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The thing in China and Korea is - they also have their beauty guidelines. They can't understand, for instance, why we want to tan. We've been approached at the beach and told we should get out of the sun. They think we are mad (maybe we are as the sun does age you!). They cherish their white porcelain skin here. The relaxed nudity at the spas doesn't stop those collective ideals seeping in and being self-policed or peer-policed. And yet, I enjoy their attitude to nudity in more secluded places.</div>
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When you look around you might feel a bit awkward at first, but after a while you just see bodies. We are just flesh, skin and bone and we are all just doing our best as the years take us through life. Our bodies are just little travelling spaceships which get beaten by the journey and time. So next time you are scrutinising yourself in the mirror, go easy on yourself a bit. Try to find a way to celebrate those humble wobbly bits rather than condemn them. What might be undesirable to you, is much less offensive than you think it is - and for some people, you are simply living and moving and that is something remarkable in itself - yes, you, with all your unique curves and lines are truly beautiful.</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-11046886391044348202017-06-13T08:44:00.000-07:002017-06-13T18:13:22.190-07:00My Guide to Sonar Festival Barcelona<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZ60jCDkKr5ZEr1FQ29Ji1cnj3iW4nfrzPRrb87Rwn5MEKT5wWcY9rq_v1cZChlMzw54PZliGtaTd80Anlr8nDDSWzZ-JSjET8gs7rB5xoMeIqQeNrLIOdyeRKOXXffxk9XTIDGBv3-M/s1600/DSC08325.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZ60jCDkKr5ZEr1FQ29Ji1cnj3iW4nfrzPRrb87Rwn5MEKT5wWcY9rq_v1cZChlMzw54PZliGtaTd80Anlr8nDDSWzZ-JSjET8gs7rB5xoMeIqQeNrLIOdyeRKOXXffxk9XTIDGBv3-M/s640/DSC08325.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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It's coming up to that time again - Sonar Weekend!</div>
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Except I'm in China...</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">BOOOOO!!! </span></b></div>
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(just this one time it is boo whilst in China)</div>
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But that isn't going to stop me from writing a blog tribute in the form of a guide to the phenomenal electronic music festival that I love. I'll still go out that weekend and party in celebration of it and how it symbolises for me my independence as a strong, single woman! :)</div>
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So here you are folks - my quick guide to <a href="https://sonar.es/">Sonar</a> and Barcelona during the festival times.</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Top Tips</span></u></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">What to pack</span></u></b></div>
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-lots of sunblock for the beach and Sonar by Day</div>
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<i>(an example of LED glasses)</i></div>
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- short sexy/comfortable clothes for getting sweaty and dancing and - if you can buy in advance on Amazon - <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Liroyal-Glasses-Costume-Battery-Controller/dp/B01N0PAKDZ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1497321960&sr=8-3&keywords=led+glasses">anything LED</a> to help you find your group in the crowd. It worked wonders last year when all my mates donned funky neon glasses and lit up bikini tops and bow ties and it is a great way to start talking to people as everyone wants to take a photo with you.</div>
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- comfortable shoes for dancing and maybe rethink flip-flops for Sonar when you have to deal with portaloos and wet bathroom floors (but that is standard festival advice).</div>
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- seriously consider buying<a href="https://www.alpinehearingprotection.com/music/festivals/"> some decent ear plugs.</a> I noticed last year that the base was beginning to hurt my ears after all those visits...</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Sleep and be safe</span></u></b></div>
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- A good idea to stay preferably in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gothic_Quarter,_Barcelona">El Gotic</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sant_Antoni,_Barcelona">Sant Antoni</a>, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Poble-sec,_Barcelona">El Poble Sec</a> or <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Raval">El Raval</a> which are close walking distance to the night buses, Sonar by Day and all the city action. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Barceloneta,_Barcelona">Barceloneta</a> is funky too and closer to the beach but the residents are not so hot on all the tourists and I would say there is a slight higher chance of burglaries. Be really careful when locking doors and windows when you go out. Even with doors locked, I had friends one year who came home to find the doors forced and all their things gone, so consider travel insurance. On the topic of theft - be very vigilant on <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Rambla,_Barcelona">La Rambla</a> and the touristy areas and metro. These thieves are quick and can creep up on you before you know it. Women also, when entering your apartment block at night, watch behind you because a common occurrence is men trying to come up from behind pretending to be residents entering the building and then once they are in you will find yourself trapped with them in the stairwell/lift area. Not a good situation to be in...</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Eat and refuel</span></u></b></div>
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These are my top recommendations as follows for times when you are recovering from dancing (but believe me there are many more - Barcelona is a great place for foodies):</div>
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- <a href="http://www.caravelle.es/">Caravelle </a>in el Raval - a rather hipster joint excellent for brunch and hanging out at their window seats - and I love their bloody marys too.</div>
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(<i>Fried green tomatoes from Picnic</i>) </div>
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- <a href="http://www.picnic-restaurant.com/brunch-menu/">Picnic</a> in el Born - this place is superb but call up and book for brunch as it is very popular. The fried green tomatoes are divine - as is the gooey caramel french toast. You can then go to the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parc_de_la_Ciutadella">park</a> after and chill out.</div>
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- <a href="http://www.rebelotbcn.com/en/">Rebelot </a>in Barceloneta - this Italian/Spanish tapas bar serves delicious food and has great cocktails. The brownies and patatas bravas with a twist are particularly scrummy - as are their winter-green, buttery olives.</div>
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- <a href="https://www.shbarcelona.com/blog/en/tapas/">Carrer Blai</a> - this street is great for trying <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pincho">pinchos</a> and tapas and has lots of cheap wine and beer too so you can do a little pub crawl if you so fancy.</div>
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<i>(me, years ago in Federal in their small roof top garden)</i><br />
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- <a href="http://www.federalcafe.es/barcelona/">Federal </a>- there is one of these in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gothic_Quarter,_Barcelona">El Gotic</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sant_Antoni,_Barcelona">Sant Antoni</a> and they do great food, drinks and of course coffee.</div>
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- <a href="http://empanadasrekons.com/">Rekons </a>in Sant Antoni for the best empanadas in town...I'm not kidding and they are cheap too but you may have to wait for a table...(but you can take-away so yeahy!) So many flavours to choose from....</div>
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<i>(Tickets)</i><br />
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- <a href="https://www.elbarriadria.com/en">Tickets </a>- Barcelona is the world of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferran_Adri%C3%A0">Ferran Adria</a> - the mastermind behind the once most famous and best restaurant in the world <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ElBulli">El Bulli.</a> If you are feeling plush and are forward thinking enough to book <i><b>way </b></i>in advance you can enjoy some world-class culinary delights in any of his many restaurants though <a href="http://www.ticketsbar.es/ca">Tickets</a> was his first big one in the city.</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Drink and party more...</span></u></b></div>
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<i>(El Jardin)</i></div>
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- <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com.sg/Restaurant_Review-g187497-d3333631-Reviews-Satan_s_Coffee_Corner-Barcelona_Catalonia.html">Satan's Corner</a> in the el Gotic is the best coffee in town. There is also a gorgeous courtyard behind the <a href="http://www.boqueria.info/index.php?lang=en">Boqueria Market</a> (go to there for cheap refreshing juices and just for the spectacle but be warned it is very crowded) where you will find <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com.sg/Restaurant_Review-g187497-d2698415-Reviews-El_Jardin-Barcelona_Catalonia.html">El Jardin</a> which is a great place to relax and have coffee away from the crowds.</div>
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- Check out <a href="http://offparty.com/club-sonar-festival">Off Sonar</a> events on <a href="https://www.residentadvisor.net/">Resident Advisor</a> too and of course <a href="http://www.salarazzmatazz.com/">Razzmatazz </a>and <a href="https://www.sala-apolo.com/en/">Apolo</a> will be hosting events in and around the festival for the lead up. There will also be after parties at the beach and <a href="https://www.residentadvisor.net/promoter.aspx?id=22">Secret Sundaze</a>. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carrer_de_Joaqu%C3%ADn_Costa,_Barcelona">Carrer Joaquin Costa</a> is also a happening street near the <a href="http://www.macba.cat/en/">Macba</a> (where the old Sonar by Day used to be) in El Raval which hosts lots of funky bars, good take-away (one of my favourite burger diners down that way) and party vibes.</div>
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<i>(Hotel 1898)</i></div>
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- Don't miss out on the roof top bars. Barcelona boasts many. See here for a <a href="https://www.thelocal.es/20160524/top-ten-barcelonas-best-rooftop-bars">list</a> and <a href="https://www.timeout.com/barcelona/things-to-do/barcelona-rooftop-bars-drinks-with-a-view">here</a>. I particularly enjoyed <a href="http://www.hotel1898.com/en/">Hotel 1898 </a>where you can buy a reasonably priced bottle of wine with good views of the city. If you are keen on more fantastic views hop on a 30 minute bus up to the <a href="http://irbarcelona.org/barcelona-viewpoints/bunkers-carmel-turo-rovira/">Bunkers del Carmel</a> or pop up to <a href="http://www.barcelonaturisme.com/wv3/en/page/396/parc-de-montjuic.html">Montjuic </a>(I really recommend the cable car across the harbour even if it is a little pricy) and enjoy dinner at <a href="https://www.tripadvisor.com.sg/Restaurant_Review-g187497-d4732353-Reviews-Martinez-Barcelona_Catalonia.html">Martinez</a> and the gardens around the top of the castle.</div>
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<i>(View from Bunkers del Carmel)</i> </div>
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<i>(View at sundown on Montjuic)</i> </div>
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<i>(Martinez)</i></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Sonar (By Night)</span></u></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRdUU3P7T9p1TYJuSoEW7RSGOctUWIZCtp7QphQZbmLbu6ghnccindYI7Xypz3PKbr-FNI3emwS886YIlixPOx4CfKpzsUb_ShC2riRNk5yEjmOXL_kHOIuygwjZqnM-hwEWpNzc-JctM/s1600/2015-06-21+06.33.23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRdUU3P7T9p1TYJuSoEW7RSGOctUWIZCtp7QphQZbmLbu6ghnccindYI7Xypz3PKbr-FNI3emwS886YIlixPOx4CfKpzsUb_ShC2riRNk5yEjmOXL_kHOIuygwjZqnM-hwEWpNzc-JctM/s640/2015-06-21+06.33.23.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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My main tips here are:</div>
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- drink before you go in to save money.</div>
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- drink lots of water to refresh.</div>
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- Get to the main stage early for big acts as these days it gets pretty crowded despite the sheer size of the place (you notice this impressively so as you first arrive).</div>
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- Try to pick a meet up point near the food stalls as its a big open space and easy to spot people.</div>
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- Go on the bumper cars, it's wicked fun.</div>
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- Go to the furthest stage (Sonar Pub) for the end of the night to see the sun come up and stay until the end on Saturday. It's such a euphoric feeling to hear people clap and cheer as they leave the venue.</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">Recover</span></u></b></div>
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- The best thing I ever did after Sonar once was to go the <a href="http://airedebarcelona.com/en/">Aire spa</a> near the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parc_de_la_Ciutadella">Parc Cuitadella</a> and pamper myself - it is beautiful, upmarket (yet not too pricy) and seriously relaxing with lots of different swimming pools, saunas and massages available. They also offer complimentary mint tea, ice-smoothies and fruit. There is often a discount code for teachers so maybe try and sign up to their newsletter.</div>
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- And of course...as the sun comes up on the party it is also great to head down to the beach and chill there.</div>
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I hope this has been useful folks! I hope this has inspired you and I hope you have a memorable festival! I've been going there for years and I've not yet met a person who hasn't truly enjoyed themselves. xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-89293441640850486762017-06-09T20:34:00.001-07:002017-06-10T02:43:21.667-07:00Lost ex-friends...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Facebook did it's little thing that it is in the habit of doing these days - Remember this such-and-such years ago? Sometimes it makes you smile, often it makes you feel old. This time it showed me a face of a friend who is no longer my friend. 8 years ago, we were. Now, we're not. </div>
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I looked at the photo of us smiling on a windy beach and I wondered about him briefly. I don't wish him any ill will - I just hope he's happy wherever he is out there, because our friendship ultimately ended because he wasn't a happy person inside and he'd gotten into some bad repetitive habits of cutting people loose when they failed to meet up to his expectations. He did this to people before me and I know he has done it to people since. We form a rejection band of people on the periphery of his life. I've actually become closer to some of them than I ever was to him. We are united by our imposed exile and the crazy thing he'll never know is that despite his idiotic handling of things, we still care about him. Or at least, personally, I would never turn him away if he came knocking.</div>
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His photo made me think about those ex-friends. How many of us out there have some? I know it isn't just me. I've commiserated with enough people on the matter. I think I've lived long enough and experienced enough to say it's okay to have some of these little scars. That's just how life goes sometimes. I remember some endings being ever so painful - one in particular I pored over any literature I could find to help me understand and cope with it and since that time, I've felt a lot stronger about the possibility of it ever happening again. I came to realise that life is often just a series of letting go's and you can't always control things or push them in the direction you want them to go. You have to let people leave. You can do what you can up to a point and then after that, if they decide it isn't right for them, you just have to accept it. </div>
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To date, I've had to let go of this friend I mentioned - not through my choice. In a similar vein, a close female friend dropped me when I was living in Spain, probably because our friendship became a bit too intense for her and she, like my male friend, had habits of severing ties when things went wrong. I, myself, walked away from a life-long childhood friend over a series of let-downs over many years which crescendo'd with disillusionment at his wedding (I now look back and can finally see clearly where my own faults lay in this matter, but I am still happy to just let that one go, no bitterness, just acceptance that it wasn't working). </div>
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And more recently, I am faced again with walking away from a very close male friend who I feel has failed to value or fight for me in a series of events in recent times. He'd probably say he told me he valued me but his words hang empty in the air where actions do not follow. I still really care about him and I've left the door open for reconciliation (as I did with all the friends before, I'm not one for the cruel silent treatment, I just cease with the effort and deeper level responses - be it by text, email or phone) but I also care about me and what I feel I deserve from a friendship. The fact I even opened up to him and told him what was wrong and what he needs to do to fix it - which is not much at all- and then him proceeding to do nothing just leaves me with little more I can do from my end. I can honestly say I have done all I can that is fair from my side.</div>
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I believe I have written about this topic once <a href="http://catofcuriosity.blogspot.sg/2014/06/when-someone-ignores-you.html">before</a>, when the female friend departed from my life. I write about it now again in case anyone is scrolling the Internet in search of solace and because Facebook reminded me. If you are reading this and you can relate, I just wanted to say you aren't alone. It's okay. It's just part of life. People ebb and flow like the tide. Use that free space to give more to those who do decide to stick around. Be grateful for your good memories and give thanks for what you still have. And anyway, life is a unfolding story that doesn't stop until death...who knows what lies around the corner. Where there is life, there is hope in all cases. You never know, your paths may cross again one day and time, experience and reflection will have made you wiser and perhaps place you in a better spot to fix things. Until then keep moving forward. xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-8865850947154263932017-06-05T19:35:00.000-07:002017-06-05T19:36:17.490-07:00Human emotions in the expat bubble<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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A week or so back I began to write this passage for a blog:</div>
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<i>Some days there are things you want to write down but you can't publish them on your blog. They betray your darker side and no one wants to highlight that. It's silly because as humans we all have dark thoughts - anger, resentment, jealousy, entitlement, fear and pride. We all suffer from negativity I have no doubt, but we try to squirrel it away where possible and paint light, airy, positive portraits for the world to see because, of course, fear governs us and predicts that if we were to share or reveal out pettier thoughts and darker emotions, people could then use it as ammunition against us later. God forbid our perfect images of how we want people to see us and how we perceive ourselves have stains - why would you deliberately stain yourself knowingly?</i></div>
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(Side note - If you ever get the chance to watch the <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001885/?ref_=nv_sr_1">Lars Von Trier </a>movie <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0276919/">Dogville</a> with <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000173/?ref_=nv_sr_1">Nicole Kidman</a>, the character <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0079273/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm">Paul Bettany</a> plays is a cracking example of a man, who once realises he is at fault, takes ever pain to eradicate the evidence - and to his own downfall by not admitting his sins. Re-watched it recently so its stuck in my head)</div>
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Living in an expat bubble, we are all pushed up against one another and sometimes there is little space to think, breathe and be. This is a great learning environment in this respect because you have to learn patience, consideration towards others and understanding. If you fail to do this, it's simply like shitting where you sleep. It's a testament to everyone that despite our ups and downs we still run a pretty tight ship and stay close. </div>
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Invariably - because we are only human - we do step on each others toes and we do bump into, knock and stain ourselves and you can't easily hide it then or brush it under the carpet or take some 'time out'. You have to face your issues head on or suffer the consequences. I guess the idea we all try to adopt however is, be gentle on others and they will be in turn gentle with you. We vent behind closed doors initially to release our frustrations - we write, we talk to those back home, whatever is required. Then we eventually come to a point where we are calmer and then we talk to the people we need to talk to and I find pretty much every time, the crumples get ironed out and we come away more connected and stronger than before. </div>
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So I am a fan for honesty. It's just the delivery and the timing which is crucial. I have written this post merely as a record and reminder. I've actually got some other topics bubbling away in the brain but I'll be patient and save them for another time. xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-84776514744460962732017-06-01T08:21:00.000-07:002017-06-01T08:21:14.085-07:00Fruit in China<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This is a short-ish post. It's about fruit. It's about fruit because...</div>
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FRUIT RULES.</div>
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China has a reputation for its cooked food. I'm not sure I've ever heard anyone talk about its fruit. When it comes to vegetables...I miss the Mediterranean for certain. I want my plump juicy red tomatoes, delicious olives and artichokes. However, I have absolutely no complaints about the fruit here. It's fantastic. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBv5dISJEcP2Xu65MPEVPteaYWorIlIYH76jRsPp43YKnM6S7A9ORYyy_OtIazCp50nZOtsxTDfqhChRL78ailUjbRmK9mRH3SH0DVsVhTPZUhKR82nCH4ZzKD24yIFtxVPozOF6ayKFs/s1600/apples.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBv5dISJEcP2Xu65MPEVPteaYWorIlIYH76jRsPp43YKnM6S7A9ORYyy_OtIazCp50nZOtsxTDfqhChRL78ailUjbRmK9mRH3SH0DVsVhTPZUhKR82nCH4ZzKD24yIFtxVPozOF6ayKFs/s400/apples.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I've never had such a big, flavoursome apple as I have had here. Chinese apples put famous British apples to shame. I was never a massive apple fan until I came here... (the skeptical side of me wonders what they are pumping them with... Someone told me that stomach cancer is a big issue in China...I need to look into this...I hope they haven't tainted them but you never know...) Nevertheless they are superb. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yantai">Yantai </a>- where I went this weekend gone - has a reputation for its apples so I guess I'm in a good region.</div>
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What is fun with China is you really notice the fruit as the seasons change. Right now it is cherry season so you see cherries everywhere on the roadsides in whicker baskets and laid smartly on mini picnic blankets - red, purple, yellow, big and tinsy-weensy. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjETi2qOvL-E0-vuAXX3PcXHGFr4zRGhy9fwXteNM0xof2wgneAKO9IzbOjjKQQ-cbQzp4mg1e6cmZMghKeogNYXgbv6IJgPvxx0eqF28qnA9XEiyyB4gtpkn86ZTJcY8HBsy-OaDRRzYU/s1600/IMG_1723.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjETi2qOvL-E0-vuAXX3PcXHGFr4zRGhy9fwXteNM0xof2wgneAKO9IzbOjjKQQ-cbQzp4mg1e6cmZMghKeogNYXgbv6IJgPvxx0eqF28qnA9XEiyyB4gtpkn86ZTJcY8HBsy-OaDRRzYU/s400/IMG_1723.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Back in the winter the supermarkets seemed to have a lot of these beige fruit which bore insides that tasted a little like a lychee. I've looked them up and they are called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longan">longan</a>. See below. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXQytHkXrpoeCulO3wT0fqCX3Aa-UQ8YGJqYfEPhcq9yxmFgTvkf5s6KdSmt2dRd_J9cy_zrqfg3JQyYPd5HJD2vT_C2XVzSmwHWOas6Ry6FvV2ngiySHsKlnV-qb302h1KTFVfhtfJrk/s1600/longan+2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="224" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXQytHkXrpoeCulO3wT0fqCX3Aa-UQ8YGJqYfEPhcq9yxmFgTvkf5s6KdSmt2dRd_J9cy_zrqfg3JQyYPd5HJD2vT_C2XVzSmwHWOas6Ry6FvV2ngiySHsKlnV-qb302h1KTFVfhtfJrk/s400/longan+2.jpeg" width="398" /></a></div>
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And in early spring I ate my first ever <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morus_(plant)">mulberries</a> which were very good-especially left to soak in your red wine glass. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl6mUC7JlV_hD49sgWSGYLZdI1q2ZxChHKg60tD7pZEuHPiXkdsw3IWGNUN99DQjrkHzmVjRYI1HPaFSlT8Xta8y3yF_lZYqEtWFAxNAOCF9txAKLjV_0b42Qh9vG57izVyOgycsQmD08/s1600/mulberries.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="287" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl6mUC7JlV_hD49sgWSGYLZdI1q2ZxChHKg60tD7pZEuHPiXkdsw3IWGNUN99DQjrkHzmVjRYI1HPaFSlT8Xta8y3yF_lZYqEtWFAxNAOCF9txAKLjV_0b42Qh9vG57izVyOgycsQmD08/s400/mulberries.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I also tried my first <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_mangosteen">mangosteen</a> which was a bit pricy at the time (on the cusp of the season) but intriguing. You can get an idea of it from the photo below but they have a hard purple shell with soft garlic clove size silky bits of white fruit internally. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOQtpBg5WIfYLEn83oK9k541COOlaJRy-DWFOn1oFZO2C4qArAJHdsPH2Ra4bNTdWKsHrfxLE4HBSRSks9Q_IIx1Zb3qbXXxhEGZh-kU_yPfCkXagaRRU0uLWoZlBk1u8NV_yv46QYBm4/s1600/mangosteen+2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="157" data-original-width="321" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOQtpBg5WIfYLEn83oK9k541COOlaJRy-DWFOn1oFZO2C4qArAJHdsPH2Ra4bNTdWKsHrfxLE4HBSRSks9Q_IIx1Zb3qbXXxhEGZh-kU_yPfCkXagaRRU0uLWoZlBk1u8NV_yv46QYBm4/s400/mangosteen+2.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Recently I have discovered these fruit too... and they are my new favourites. Aptly called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myrica_rubra">yumberries</a>. They are indeed yummmmmy! Like a sweet and sour strawberry and blackberry mixed together. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfDRyrpEPjWD0pzkOpMQI1hnVtWC5JxQfHylFXokwtxiYMndompuDJDbzK6nnN7T6sB6S4sjPjdo-xIgckN2sM-uPy6dZR4xCTPmMrVCO5zYxRicbLoK2QS8FJLrD66GRBp6gsAl7ji7M/s1600/yumberry_e6a1e5d771fea26becd5313ac274ec71.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="265" data-original-width="400" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfDRyrpEPjWD0pzkOpMQI1hnVtWC5JxQfHylFXokwtxiYMndompuDJDbzK6nnN7T6sB6S4sjPjdo-xIgckN2sM-uPy6dZR4xCTPmMrVCO5zYxRicbLoK2QS8FJLrD66GRBp6gsAl7ji7M/s400/yumberry_e6a1e5d771fea26becd5313ac274ec71.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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There are also Peruvian groundcherries - I think we call them <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physalis">physalis</a> in the UK- which have also always been a favourite and also the striking dragonfruit or <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitaya">Pitaya</a> which I still recall seeing for the first time when I was a teenager in a Waitrose supermarket which sparked off an entire A-level art project.</div>
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I can't remember a time when I ate so much fruit! Of course there are others like the smelly <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Durian">durian </a>and the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackfruit">jackfruit</a> which I'm not good at telling the difference between so I've been avoiding but these are some of the ones I have been exploring more. So I just thought I'd share...xxx</div>
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P.S. Here are some <a href="http://www.chinawhisper.com/10-fruits-you-should-try-in-china/">other links</a> (and <a href="http://www.visitourchina.com/blog/detail-174.html">here</a>) on fruit found in China if you are interested.</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-25610644820840535262017-05-23T19:45:00.002-07:002017-05-23T19:45:49.607-07:00Chinese people I've experienced and other thoughts.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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When I announced I was coming to China I was taunted by the following remarks and also preconceived ideas I had...</div>
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<i>'There's no Facebook, Youtube etc in China. How will you survive? It's all heavily censored.'</i></div>
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<i>'They all eat dog in China. What will you do when you see cats and dogs in cages or strung up stripped of their skins in markets?'</i></div>
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<i>'The pollution is going to destroy your lungs and your skin...the acne you'll get will be horrific.'</i></div>
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<i>'Why would you want to go to China?! It's so extreme. They work so hard...'</i></div>
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China seemed so extremely foreign to me - as it did to my peers - that it had the affect of causing one to gulp nervously in anticipation. That's what excited me however. That's what made me choose it over Vietnam and other such places. A little voice inside my head said excitedly - </div>
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<i>So what if it's extreme? Let's do the crazy thing and go!</i></div>
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I'm so glad I listen to that voice sometimes, even if she is a mad one. She's definitely a fun one.</div>
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I, of course, consulted some friends who had lived in China before as well. They gave me some advice which I now read back over with fresh eyes and new perspective: </div>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #f1f0f0; letter-spacing: -0.24px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">I think by the end of your experience you'll both love and hate China passionately, in the best possible way! You will enjoy the expat bubble which is very strong over there, as the culture really is so different than foreigners tend to hang out together for a bit of R&R. The bar culture is ridiculously fun - crazy 'techno' clubs with neon lights and silly pumping music and loads of red-faced drunk Chinese people falling over. The food is insanely good. The light in northern China is beautiful - a white misty light that is beautiful in both winter and summer. You can learn Tai Chi and go ballroom dancing with the grannies in the square. You will be verrrrry popular with Chinese men, although they are not sleazy so it won't annoy you if you're not interested. You'll meet a bunch of pretty random foreigners as China does tend to attract weirdos - you'll fit right in!</span><span style="background-color: #f1f0f0; letter-spacing: -0.24px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Overall, I urge you to do this, but be aware that it will be challenging as well as fun - but that's why it will be so rewarding! I have no doubt you will end up staying for longer than your allotted year... everyone who I went on my Chinese gap year with ended up either staying (for the 15 years since then!) or returning to either study or work at some point. Every single one.</span></span></div>
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This particular friend was right in many ways and I do want to come back here when I can. But these reflections are a premise of what I want to talk today- the people I've met in China so far. I haven't met a load in some ways. I live in my expat bubble as my friend predicted I would. However, some Chinese people have made their way into my life by their ability to speak English or the fact they are my students.</div>
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The people are very friendly and helpful in many ways and China is a very safe country to live in. The other day my security guard yelled out to me as I was cycling out of the compound and I stopped and he hurried over with a bike tyre pump- my tyre was flat. The taxi drivers always want to talk to you even if you don't understand and people on the street often want to take their photo with you like you are some exotic rare beast - which can be funny but also semi overwhelming if you are at the beach in your bikini coming out of the sea to a paparazzi-like crowd all with their smart phone cameras ready.</div>
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Chinese people can often be seemingly blunt. They have no problem telling you that you look fat or you've got a pimple on your face or your house needs cleaning. You could consider this rude, but after a while you get used to it and find it rather funny. It has caused some friction at work when Chinese staff have had to mediate between teachers and parents however and it is certainly something to be aware of as a cultural difference.</div>
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Interacting with my students and their parents offers another viewpoint - the pressure to succeed and do well. It is true the Chinese work long hours. They will say themselves that they work hard but over time we have come to wonder how efficient they are within those long hours. If some of our Chinese support staff are anything to go by in the past then there is a seed of doubt (though of course some do a stella job). Sometimes I wonder what they learn at school in all that time - where students are arriving at school at 7am and finishing at 6pm then doing homework to 11pm with only Sunday off. As a teacher, you are often met with blank faces when you refer to any major cultural/external reference - be it geography and history to film and music. </div>
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This academic way of life is part of their system. They study very hard, find a job, work very hard to succeed, find a partner, marry and produce children and continue to work hard whilst their parents raise their babies. Then repeat. One of my teenage boys lamented to me that the Chinese way of life was very robotic. I asked him if he thought his generation would change things and he shook his head and said no. He said China was too big a country.</div>
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Duty to your family is also paramount. This is not a society that celebrates the individual - like many western countries. This is a society which works for their family unit and the greater good of the country. Your parents happiness is often more important than your own. Women and men will marry not necessarily because they are ready but because there is the pressure to hurry up and do so. Gay men and women will play but many will eventually feel the pressure to settle down as their parents so wish. Homosexuality officially doesn't seem to exist in the way it does in the West. If you do decide to break out on your own - be it to do something you are truly passionate about, live somewhere else or live the life that might be true for you - it seems that such a decision comes with a cost. The person must kiss goodbye any financial and family support and often this is just too difficult to do.</div>
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Sometimes I think that through learning English and about western culture, my students get a glimpse of another life possible. In our classes I often hear them talk of their dreams for a better life and their desires to see the world and how they are surprised by the places they have visited outside of China. Someone told me something like only 7% of Chinese people have a passport. I'm not sure how true this is but maybe I am dealing with only the rich, select few who can afford the luxury of seeing beyond their system. I don't know for sure... </div>
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It's probably arrogant to think us Westerners have it sorted. Of course we know our system is also flawed and with its issues. There are plenty of unhappy people on the other side of the world who also feel trapped and there are plenty who enjoy the system. It works the same way for China I imagine. What's interesting is to notice the paradigms that organise people and try to understand why they have come to be in place. It's fascinating to wonder how they will evolve and where they shall lead. They are like living, growing beings of their own.<br />
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Besides the system, the thing to do is to dig beneath it and look at the people. We are all very different but we all want to be happy and do what we have been directed to think is the right thing - but what do we really know? Travel allows you to break free from your mould a little and examine others. I dare say it's probably the most liberating way to live your life.<br />
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Anyway...this has been a somewhat clumsy soliloquy but those are just some thoughts and observations on all of that, perhaps more insights and ideas will follow... xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-30488695764898200032017-05-18T19:46:00.000-07:002017-05-18T19:46:04.884-07:00Staying and Going...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>(View from Venu at the <a href="https://www.ihg.com/intercontinental/hotels/us/en/qingdao/daoha/hoteldetail">InterContinental Hotel</a> as the sun goes down)</i></div>
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Turns out I have my first fan who is quick enough to ask me where my latest blog post is when I am overdue... (you know who you are...thank you!). I'd never make an amazing journalist. I'm a mood writer and I like to write when the feeling takes me about things I feel like writing about. Writing for me is like a purge. I pour out all the stuff bouncing around my brain and try and organise it in the form of language and meaning - like deciphering tea leaves or tarot cards or some shit like that. </div>
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This brain is always whirring...when I sleep my dreams are always very vivid. That's not to say it's the smartest brain. If you were to drop in you might just find it playing some mindless tune on repeat. My mouth is very closely connected to my brain too so my poor colleague has to sit next to me and witness the radio that is ongoing a lot - be it random humming of music like the <i>Hall of the Mountain King </i>(Alton Towers theme tune to some) or the <i>Sugar Plum Fairy</i> to my ear catching a word of someone in the office and searching for a song which features that word and it pouring from my lips.</div>
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Anyway...that's just me and a side note really. What's been going on in the real world outside of your brain you ask me? (And I would then be tempted to go down another side route of '<i>What is reality anyway as it is all created within the mind?'</i> but then I'm just being a smarty-pants who has been watching some BBC Documentary on the <i>Brain</i>)</div>
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Life... It's heating up. Literally as it always does as Spring slips into Summer. I love these months. It feels like your butterfly wings unfurl and you start getting things done. The warmer, lighter evenings encourage one to stay out later and see more and suddenly Qingdao is really coming to life in my eyes. After meeting those new girls at <a href="https://www.booking.com/hotel/cn/qingdao-westinhotel.html">The Westin hotel</a> salsa night the week after my birthday, it feels like they started a chain reaction of meeting and getting to know more people and places.</div>
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(<i>Shilaoren</i>)</div>
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This weekend gone, we went out partying at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/Venuqingdao/">Venu</a> (an amazing roof top bar overlooking the harbour - see first photo above) and Unit (the car park rave) and bumped into lots of new faces, then recovered for the first time on Qingdao's most popular beach <a href="http://www.qingdaochinaguide.com/attractions/beaches-surf-sea/shilaoren.html">Shilaoren</a> (meaning 'Old Stone Man' and with a similar phonetic sound to my name 'laoren'). </div>
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<i>(View of the city from the Marina and the Marina below)</i></div>
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We explored the Marina area in much more detail taking some beautiful photos and also went back to the suburb of Licun (where I had also been before in my early days here) to discover a thriving night-market which I would have never known about if it wasn't due to our new friends and contacts. </div>
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<i>(A view of Rock City at Licun)</i></div>
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The metro line has grown a lot and new stations have opened since I arrived too so I can see the potential for getting out to other parts of the city easily and cheaply enough. We have also talked about travelling across Qingdao's <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiaozhou_Bay_Bridge">Jiaozhou Bay Bridge </a>-the longest sea bridge in the world - to reach another area called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huangdao_District">Huangdao</a> which could be fun.</div>
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<i>(Jiaozhou Sea Bridge)</i></div>
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The summer oozes potential. We also met a Russian lady when out this weekend and got called to a film casting for some 'Crazy Aliens' film where Nicholas Cage <i>may</i> put in an appearance which weirdly coincided with the Guardian publishing <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2017/may/15/qingdao-spotlight-hollywood-china-coast-movie-metropolis">this article </a>on Qingdao's growing film industry which is literally the first time I have heard of this as well. Suddenly the window of time from now until I leave feels small and like it's hurtling towards me full speed. Argh! Slow down!!</div>
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But then...some days you really want to be home. Like whilst writing this article life has delivered up one of its famous curve balls and family tragedy strikes again (and on the same side of the family that it just did a few months before with poor Gabriel, my cousin) and it's the worst kind. So now, despite the sexiness of summer stretching out before me, I know I'm doing the best possible thing going home at the end of it. My mum needs me and so do other relatives. It's fun to go out into the world and play but when things turn dark, it's time to go home and keep people safe and spend quality time together whilst there is still time.</div>
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So...that's a little of what is going on. The highs and lows, the staying and going, the light and the dark. It all weaves into each other and each day you just have to muddle on with it. Until next time. xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-28581274378881711112017-05-07T03:29:00.000-07:002017-05-07T03:29:31.989-07:00As life at 35 begins...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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My birthday was a fun event - lots of colour. I love colour. My lovely housemate blew up all these multicoloured balloons and made these amazing moustache straws which was right up my alley. It's like she knew me too well - I was super pleased. We had an array of food and then we went off to dance. I can't believe that was already two weeks ago. </div>
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Time flew by as it always does and Shanghai was thrusted upon me with all its lights and dazzle and hipster razzle. It got my mind ticking and my blood pumping again - as travel always does. I met some ex-colleagues and shared work stories and pondered over my life options. My perspective of China widened once more and I was also challenged when a insane character took over a few hours of my time and made me question my assertiveness and also my prejudices and judgements about mental illness.</div>
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Another week sailed by and babies arrived, engagements were announced and the thought of coming home collided with all these things and suddenly I went from being keen to get home to not wanting to return at all - as the peer pressure of responsibility looked me square in the face. It was a time to stop and reassess my options. I'm still not sure I've come to any conclusions, but whereas I had a mini freak-out, I'm calmer now and still pondering. </div>
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I've probably addressed this topic so many times in so many guises in my writing. I don't bother to go back and reread through all my posts but I can imagine it to be so. I feel sometimes my life is this fine tight-rope line that I must walk. On one side beckons liberty and creative freedom and endless fun and a big middle finger to responsibility, getting old and all the 'boring' administrative stuff in life. The stuff society dictates, the money worries, the social norms. But I suppose I am no fool - if I topple too heavily into this side of life, what happens when old age does come knocking?! Because it will... Maybe I should let go and let life take me wherever it means to take me and I'll be that much richer for it... Maybe I'm a coward, but I can't quite let myself be seduced.</div>
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On the other side, responsibility leans in and offers a firm, steady hand. It says '<i>okay, you know this isn't the fun stuff but if you come with me, I'll ease your worries. I'll help you financially and I'll give you the stuff that will also make you grow. I'll teach you discipline and there are still things to achieve and be proud of. If you come with me, you can be like all the others who are neatly lining their ducks up in a row. Join our gang. There's safety in numbers and we've tried and tested it.' </i></div>
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So I don't go with either side. I just let their waves lick my heels and splash over me from different sides from time to time. Or I dabble in one and then turn to the other to balance it. I live a half life where neither side is fully satisfied. Do I live a life where I'm never fully satisfied? <i>'Stay hungry',</i> someone once said... I guess that is true for me. I'm hungry. I'm like a rat in a maze running down corridors looking for my cheese, hitting walls again and again and turning around and finding new passages that lead me closer to the scent. </div>
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So life goes on. When I get to the end, if my hand is not a claw by then, I'll write and tell you how it all worked out. </div>
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It's funny though - both sides have spoken to me this week and for once they have clicked like a jigsaw piece. The sensible side tells me its time I took on some more responsibility - a Masters course or I should finally go and buy a cat (I think that still needs to wait though despite the urge). It tells me to buckle down with my Spanish and Chinese...And when I saw a wonderful video of my friend belly-dancing, it said to me - you can do anything if you choose to put in the time and focus. Travel doesn't make you an interesting person. Anyone can travel but working on your skills and talents is always a good idea.</div>
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The creative side shows me people who have lived a life less ordinary and it says<i> 'What's stopping you?' </i>I met a girl last night who said before China, her life had been quite ordinary. Yet when she came here, through a weird set of twisted events she befriended the Chinese Mafia (who came to her aid when she was attacked by a sex-predator taxi driver who happened to pick the wrong girl because her dad had taught her martial arts), opened her own bar and became a travel writer. Her stories were impressive and her attitude was inspiring. </div>
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So listening to both sides, I think about going home, being responsible for a while with my Masters course and language learning then flying away again to China or Taiwan for a new adventure. I guess we shall just have to see...</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-30134790594495565132017-04-18T19:56:00.000-07:002017-04-18T19:56:46.775-07:00In recent days...a week before my birthday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I don't know what it was but there was something in the air last week. The weather has been steadily improving and we went to the park at the weekend and kicked back in our baggy summer clothes and whacked on the sound system, lay back and watched the clouds roll by (we were then accosted by a strange and annoying hipster Chinese boy who wouldn't leave us alone speaking incessantly in Chinese, trying to take multiple selfies and pointing at his crotch.... but that's a bizarre side note). Anyway, it was a lovely sunny day but somewhere inside I felt restless and uneasy.</div>
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Us girls confer and blame periods, blame the moon, blame the humdrum of routine but whatever it is sometimes a heavy feeling sets in and you can't pinpoint its source. You speculate - is it all this horrible news that keeps coming everyday? Those articles you read about<a href="https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/anneke-lucass-harrowing-tale-of-sex-trafficking-am/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_content=uk&utm_campaign=general-content&linkId=36473884"> sexual abuse case</a> studies within the elite (which make you wonder about the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappearance_of_Madeleine_McCann">McCanns</a> and Princess Diana <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Diana,_Princess_of_Wales_conspiracy_theories">conspiracy theories</a> - if it is true that people really wield such power), the war in Syria and the referendum in Turkey, Teresa May's proposal for a snap election and ongoing Brexit confusion, the NHS floundering and capitalism gone mad? Or is it because the hint of summer approaching reminds you of summer in Spain and you feel pangs of nostalgia? Is it because a boomerang realisation hits you out of nowhere that you will never speak to your stepfather ever again because he died in the summer and we're not far off from a year to the date when you were told things were looking precarious? Is it because sometimes friendships you thought were solid, let you down and disappoint you? There are many things and I am easily restless so it's hard to say...</div>
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I went out both nights this weekend. The first night I dragged myself to our local night club and the thumping music soon picked up my spirits somewhat and last night it was our staff dinner and those uneasy feelings drifted further away still as we mixed beer, cider and absinthe together and got silly and creative with iMovie videos (see evidence below).</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwtzg78_P0K0aQU8Fa5zAKQ8g_j98lDYY_LetYaDz6M8UkJnT5asFwUX727No9SY1mXzikfIBIVRe2Gf3DoHg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Plus it isn't hard to smile when this is your boss...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnl9fo4WPH7WuOMIJlh9iaikNHgaAcQ3BYHBpCAXdQSfxgz-sQZKrcV2KMFXDXxzNzjUztiymxP2Le2qIUb-dHcQbm_0sEQ9XiG5yZedkyLX77fEy8eq3i5dUWv6CYNbREmpwyoNAQyXU/s1600/IMG_1040.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnl9fo4WPH7WuOMIJlh9iaikNHgaAcQ3BYHBpCAXdQSfxgz-sQZKrcV2KMFXDXxzNzjUztiymxP2Le2qIUb-dHcQbm_0sEQ9XiG5yZedkyLX77fEy8eq3i5dUWv6CYNbREmpwyoNAQyXU/s400/IMG_1040.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm always a fan of being yourself. All this professionalism we often adhere to in and outside the office - who are we kidding, hmm? I understand you need some within the establishment, but after hours I prefer the open, honest way.</div>
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So the heaviness shifts slowly like a dark cloud moving across the horizon and you stop to watch it go and wonder what it was. When you pause and think about all the horror in the world for one minute - all that is been, all that there is, and all that is yet to come - you wonder about your own little life. I've been so lucky, but maybe we are all walking on a knife's edge. Maybe those heavy moments are natural because somewhere in our subconscious we are relieved that our daily problems are minimal compared to some. Maybe we feel guilty that we have it so easy when others don't. You kick the dust with your shoe and mull on it a bit and then you just accept your lot, feel grateful and vow to complain less then try to get on with it as best you can, because you tell yourself your life is a gift and you should make the most of it; if not for you, for those others out there who are carrying the burden of humanity too heavily in your place. A voice nags though, what else can I do? Is this it? How can I just turn my back and push it all to one side...What happens if I don't? I don't know. What do I do?! Can I only work within my remit?</div>
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Whatever it is, whatever the answers, on a more basic level, it's a week before my 35th birthday which is a bit of a milestone for me mentally for various reasons. I always enjoy my birthday but what with time whizzing by and the weird atmosphere, it could even be this that is hanging over me. Yet, I'm glad I was born in the Spring. The blossom is abundant and the sunshine lights up the day. Spring reminds me of rebirth and second chances. It makes these stranger moments that stretch out from our past legacies a little easier. </div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-55000385491990741342017-04-07T08:52:00.002-07:002017-04-07T08:58:34.877-07:00Xi'an in pictures....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Yes, my Korean blog still sits there waiting...one day... </div>
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And I know how I can be sometimes, so here is Xi'an for you in pictures with some brief notes as I see fit. I'm home for the first night since I got back from my little break enjoying a gooey, cheesy pizza to myself and some chill tunes from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Doors">The Doors</a> and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Marley">Bob Marley</a>... I do like my downtime when I can get it.<br />
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Finally, after what seems like a fairly
long winter, the signs of spring are peeping through. As I ride my bike to work
along the pavement, I look up and examine the buds on the trees and smile to
myself as I witness the blossom come into bloom. The little pink and white
flowers make the mute concrete roads and misty skies a little prettier and the
flush of light green of the weeping willow trees also steals away winter’s
grey. A little bit of sun changes everything. I’m happy to be out on my bike
and enjoying the moderate temperatures.<br />
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Blossom is everywhere in China it would seem... following us faithfully throughout our travels from Qingdao to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xi%27an">Xi'an</a> and the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terracotta_Army">Terracotta Warriors</a> to <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Hua">Huashan Mountain</a> and in and around the city itself.</div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV6vckjMfiezZoZa1lwm2HYr-iBR48QaFbeUty_J3A-GpnofvdHsuzcWPZG7BBZ0HaY9UyWuc7HRc7mIrSqdCCboNauNeQoMKzdzhqNGvfpzmirVL7eC1CF_6tZK8CjMMtPKMZxO8ybz8/s1600/IMG_4363.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV6vckjMfiezZoZa1lwm2HYr-iBR48QaFbeUty_J3A-GpnofvdHsuzcWPZG7BBZ0HaY9UyWuc7HRc7mIrSqdCCboNauNeQoMKzdzhqNGvfpzmirVL7eC1CF_6tZK8CjMMtPKMZxO8ybz8/s640/IMG_4363.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></div>
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Xi'an is a vibrant and exciting city with a long history and many activities and excursions to offer... On the first day we took a little stroll alongside the towering city walls before jumping in a taxi to go see the infamous <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terracotta_Army">Terracotta Warriors</a> just outside the city.</div>
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I don't need to say too much about these - I'm sure everyone has heard about them - but it is fascinating to see them and the sheer number of them. Nevertheless, despite the huge buildings that house them, you still need your elbows to push to the front to see through the sea of Chinese tourists. It's actually so ridiculous in places you can't help but laugh.</div>
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Here's our little group out in the fresh air at the Terracotta Warrior site...</div>
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With a beautiful backdrop of mountains and blossom in the background...</div>
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And here is the next day - the trip I had been dreading to<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mount_Hua"> Huashan Mountain</a> - quoted as one of the most dangerous hikes in the world. I was convinced my time was up! I had been reading all these accounts and kept saying: <i>'I hope I don't fall off a mountain this weekend...'</i> </div>
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Needless to say...I survived. Here we are celebrating. It was super tiring and some of the steps were literally vertical and stretched on forever to the point where I felt semi delirious (think <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIR3XFuY4Qs">Trololo cat's</a> face as he can barely stand his owner scratching his hind) but we all made it. I was pretty proud of myself I have to say... I always doubt myself and I really shouldn't.</div>
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And when I thought I had done my quota of exercise for the week, I surprised myself further by embarking on a two hour bike journey around the city wall the next day...all this and I had a cold also! I'm starting to wonder if I'm not secretly superwoman! </div>
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If you want to really visit a place with an 'authentic' Chinese feel this is definitely the place to go... as these photos demonstrate... My friend and I joked and took the piss of our 'arty' tourist shots - <i>'Yeah man we are so cultural because we went here and took photos...Gap Yar Mwawawa' </i></div>
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Then in the evening we went to the <a href="https://www.travelchinaguide.com/attraction/shaanxi/xian/moslem-street.htm">Muslim quarter</a> of the town and basically gorged ourselves silly on mutton soup, meat kebabs, pomegranate juice, polenta cake, waffles, sugar covered strawberries and other such delights...</div>
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So all in all a pretty packed three day holiday and we probably only scratched the surface. Tomorrow after work I jet over to Beijing to see my brother too which will be nice. Hence the quick post though. Be in touch again soon. xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-41389553379354508102017-03-22T07:37:00.000-07:002017-03-22T07:51:48.018-07:00The Science behind the Three Date Rule<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I've always been fascinated with relationships. I think about them, talk about them and read and watch videos about them. Perhaps I've simply gone and missed my calling. Maybe I should have studied Psychology at University. I sure would like to take a Masters in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_psychology">Positive Psychology</a> but currently, it just doesn't seem practical. And anyway, I could say the same things about the creative arts and music...I have too many interests that it has always been hard to commit to just one. I love variety.</div>
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Anyway, let's lead on to what I want to talk about today. I'm coming up to 35 years old and I am single. As a woman, there is often a feeling of stigma around this concept. Even if it doesn't bother you internally, you can feel some pressure externally. Targeted ads on the webpages I use scream at me to try their dating sites and if I had a pound for every time I saw that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9lPaaYxsVQ">Clear Blue</a> pregnancy ad on YouTube (in a myriad of different languages, no matter where I live in the world), I'd be a rich woman. Social media also reminds me of my 'singledom' as wedding and baby photos go up all the time. It's not exactly irksome to be reminded of all this, it is what women in their thirties are generally doing, but it isn't exactly helpful sometimes either.</div>
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In the past I have felt the need to justify myself <i>to myself</i> and to others as to why I am still single: I move around a lot, I am quite opinionated and eccentric, I'm fussy. I like the wrong guys and the wrong guys like me - whatever excuse or plausible reason I could fathom. On darker days, I'd ask the question - what is wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? I'm sure many people have asked that question to themselves - in fact I know this to be the case (from all my reading and talking to people). Let me say, it isn't helpful. Often we need to stop asking this question and replace it with <i>'What's right with me?' </i>and give that more energy.</div>
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Anyway, I actually like me a lot. I think I'm a wicked catch with heaps to offer, so I have come to the basic conclusion that I have had a few things I've needed to learn along the way <i>and </i>that I<i> </i>just haven't been lucky enough yet to find someone I want to commit to or who wants to commit to me. (They call it true love because it's special after all, right?) I'd like to consider myself as the secret bargain vintage dress in the charity shop which you need to hunt around for but once I'm found and worn out to a party, everyone can't stop from remarking and marvelling...!</div>
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I'm half-joking, half serious.</div>
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Anyway... the thing is, it isn't worth dwelling too much on the ifs and whys and whens. Everything has its place in time and one just has to let go and get on with other things. That would be my advice to anyone in the same shoes wanting a relationship. I'd also ask them to question - why they want a relationship so badly? How do they imagine this 'thing' is going to be? Because, I also know that there is a herd mentality among us - this 'grass is greener' concept and sometimes the most unhappy people are those trapped in loveless marriages. Sometimes, I wonder if I really want a relationship at all - perhaps I don't, sometimes I truly believe this - perhaps it is just what I think I should have... Anyway, you can see I have pondered this a fair while.</div>
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I am fascinated with the dating scene having been involved in it for some time (though I'm having a break right now here in China). In my earlier years, I was a relationship bunny-hopper. I hopped from one embrace to the next. Then I broke up with my five year boyfriend at 28 and it all changed. Immediately, seeking solace, I ran into the arms of a highly intelligent, wealthy and seductive man (think Mr Grey from <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey">Fifty Shades</a></i> but tone down the bondage) who also happened to be a total player. I was treated like a princess for six months, then kicked back to the gutter still clutching my broken heart I had failed to address or attempt to repair from the previous relationship. Then, like a pendulum swinging back furiously I went the total opposite direction and tried to accept into my heart a nice young man who literally said to me in his own words: <i>'I have the house, the car, the cat....I just want you to share it all with me.'</i></div>
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It was too easy, he was too nice, as much as I wanted to take him up on the offer, I couldn't. I didn't feel the same.</div>
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Eventually, I found a man who I considered 'the middle point' between the previous two polar opposites. I deemed him perfect. I thought I had hit the nail on the head. He seemed to like me too. Then just as I let my guard down, he pulled the rug out from under my feet. My so called 'perfect-middle-point' man realised he didn't feel the same. This was an immensely difficult thing for me to accept -I was already too far gone and totally smitten- and I 'wasted' at least a year of my life resisting the truth. I say 'wasted' in adverted commas because, whilst it was a painful time where I could have been focusing my attention on other worthier people, I learnt a hell of a lot from it. </div>
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Then the lovely little <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinder_(app)">Tinder app</a> came along... (You can see where this is going to go) with all it's weird adventures, ever increasing sexual partner numbers and frustration. As a woman around the thirty mark - I knew I was at the height of my sexual peak (so I read somewhere...for men it is 21, sorry guys!) and I could feel it - I ignored my friends' pleas to get a vibrator, to stop leaping precariously from one fling to the next - much like my old relationships - and slooooooow down and abstain, but I kidded myself that I was liberated and I wanted it this way, even though these hooks up often ended leaving me feeling tearful or deflated. I had my needs, I thought, <i>if men can sleep around with little consequence, why couldn't I? Look at me go and all the crazy stories I'm collecting to relate and dissect with my girlfriends. </i>If it all went wrong, at least I had an entertaining anecdote.</div>
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But I didn't realise it was picking away at my self-esteem and confidence. In my quest for love, I was inadvertently investing all this emotion too quickly on, before I knew who I was dealing with. And with Tinder, of course, there are some relationship success stories, but let's not kid ourselves of what its main purpose is for. I was getting it all wrong. I'm sure many women have done and still continue to do so. It is so easy to look in all the wrong places when you're not sure where to begin looking and Tinder does it so effortlessly from the safety of your home and behind a screen.</div>
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These days, I can look back and see all this. I still read and reflect on such things. Anthropologist <a href="http://helenfisher.com/">Helen Fisher's </a>study on love has been a great source of insight for me. Her findings of the brain in love helped me to understand and explain my obsession of the middle-point man and realise I hadn't been totally in control. I had been suffering from addiction. You can read quite a good summary of all this <a href="https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/untitled-article-1473374914">here </a>or check her out on <a href="http://www.ted.com/">Ted</a>. I can't recommend her highly enough. When I thought I was losing the plot, her words were of comfort to me and if you read the article I have sourced previously (<a href="https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/untitled-article-1473374914">here</a> again), I found my way out of this quagmire the same way that they suggest - I replaced my obsession for one man with going out and entertaining new experiences, by exercising (I went clubbing - music festivals and dancing became my comfort), and slowly I moved away from what seemed like hopeless, repetitive brain confusion.</div>
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Helen Fisher talks about dopamine spikes and their effects and I find it very interesting to break down love into chemistry. Of course, love is never that simple, but knowing some science really helps and it is fascinating. So the other day, when I stumbled upon <a href="http://dawnmaslar.com/">Dawn Masler's </a>talk on Ted about her study of the brain in love, I was really pleased. Masler's talk isn't the most eloquently delivered one -some things I'm still not sure I follow exactly- , but what she says is important and I think it definitely needs to be passed on and shared. People should be educated to be aware of such things. </div>
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Masler was looking at the chemistry within the brain and what chemicals operate when a person falls in love. With men and women - as you can imagine - it is different. She was in the process of studying these differences when, one day, her 90-year old grandmother butted in whilst she was having a conversation with her cousin on the matter and had said quite matter-of-factly <i>'The problem with you girls today is you rush into bed too soon, you fall in love too soon. Men don't fall in love that way. They fall in love when they commit.' </i></div>
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We've all heard of the three date rule, right? And the notion of keeping men waiting. This was advice I was not too willing to take on board during my Tinder years I have to say... I'd argue: <i>'Urgh! I hate playing games...why do I have to do that?!' </i>and I'd reason that there were always exceptions to this rule and that I'd prefer to do it my style, my way.</div>
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Well Masler's research and science actually backs up her grandmother's claims and we have good reason to listen to our elders on this matter (I guess the introduction of the contraceptive pill - whilst 'liberating' us, also made us overlook good old tried-and-tested courting practices). A woman, she tells us, builds up <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine">dopamine </a>and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin">oxytocin</a> as she falls in love. Oxytocin comes from cuddles and intimacy and trust and, in her words, for a woman, it sky rockets on orgasm. Rushing into bed with a man can cause us more trouble than we realise as there is a greater chance for us, as women, to fall in love. Does the man fall in love the same way? Actually, no. Men have a lot of testosterone which blocks oxytocin. </div>
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Masler tells us that single men also demonstrate high levels of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testosterone">testosterone </a>. It is only when testosterone goes down that the receptors (which take time to build as directed by the neurotransmitters) can receive oxytocin. When does testosterone start to go down? When a man is ready to commit and the time is there to help with the building process. So the expression 'only fools rush in' also makes a lot of sense here. You can listen to her talk below in more detail.</div>
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As I have already said and will say again, I feel like this sort of information needs to be collected and shared. I didn't pay much attention to dating advice in my early years - but perhaps with the science to back it, I may have considered things more carefully. I certainly would have had a fuller understanding of the problems I ran into and why they kept repeating themselves. As I have also said, Helen Fisher's talk really helped me when I was struggling. It helped me to realise there wasn't something wrong with me fundamentally, but that I was undergoing something powerfully chemical at the time. </div>
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Masler's work also encourages me and confirms my recently formed ideas of the benefits of taking things more slowly and carefully- even if it takes me forever! This has been one of my biggest lessons this year whilst talking to friends here in China - both male and female - on the benefits of building a relationship slowly and working for it and through my own small, personal crush on someone who didn't behave as I might have expected a boy to and was also one for letting someone closer only gradually. We now have a good friendship and this, I am glad for in itself, and I can see the true merits and value of doing things this way. </div>
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So there you have it...it has been a long, possibly too frank-a-post but hopefully an interesting and useful one to some!</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-11398879253575838442017-03-15T20:17:00.002-07:002017-03-15T20:24:41.813-07:00Time to talk about China again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This blog has been building up. I need to write it soon or it will never happen. It's just its a post of lists and observations and sometimes I lose enthusiasm half way when writing such things.</div>
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I've been living in China for 5 months now. 5 months...Jesus, where did that time go? I have 6 more months stretched out ahead of me - the summer months - where I'm told it will be sweltering. I'm not a fan of such words or experiences. I always left Spain at the height of the summer for the semi-cooler climes of London. I love the summer - just not extreme summer. Well, now, whether I like it or not, I'm faced with a Chinese sweltering summer and not only that, unlike Spain, I have to wear a uniform: a uniform not made of light, breathable cotton, but one which when worn can display some pretty impressive under-arm sweat patches and it is still technically winter. Oh how I relish and look forward to these experiences up ahead (I hope the sarcasm is duly noted).</div>
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Anyway I got side-tracked by this... I wanted to talk about the oddities of China and life here. This may end up feeling like a negative rant post, I will do my best not to let it become this, but it is usually the stuff that differs from the 'western' norm in 'peculiar' ways that makes one raise an eyebrow and quietly mutter under one's breath <i>'wtf?' </i>It's also these differences that challenge and excite you too in some weird sort of sadistic way... Like you're thinking in your head: '<i>Wow! Look at me and my resilience...I'm hard core!' </i>(yeah whatevs you smug Westerner...) But seriously, I don't see any problem in testing and stretching boundaries...</div>
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Perhaps it is a good idea to juxtapose this post afterwards with the more delightful aspects of China... We shall see how this baby takes shape as I go...</div>
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Hmm where to start? Let's go disgusting first. Let's talk toilets.</div>
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<b><u>TOILETS</u></b></div>
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Ah toilets...in our family we seem to love talking about such things what with our weird phobias and bladder issues... It is surprising how much people love to talk about excrement once they get going. You know when your friendship is a solid one when you can carelessly refer to your poo over lunch and no one bats an eyelid but instead chimes in with their own smelly-gut-wrenching stories.</div>
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So...for the faint hearted, coming to China and using the public toilets is...not a particular joy. Especially if you compare it to Korea or luxurious Japan with its heated toilet seats and butt-cleaning jet-sprays. China is the champion of squatting toilets. Lovely murky white squatting toilets which show all the grime and with poo stains clinging to the edges, bins overflowing beside the johns with poo-tissues and the ever permeating stench of urine which I've noticed in my time here has many different varieties of bad stench. And they never look like they've had a thorough clean... India was also pretty bad...I'm not sure which country wins the title for 'grossest toilets ever'.</div>
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Oh and you want toilet paper? hahaha forget that. Make sure you always have a pack of kleenex on you.</div>
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So there you go...toilets. If you come to China, just be aware.</div>
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Next... let's talk Smoking</div>
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<b><u>SMOKING</u></b></div>
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You can smoke anywhere in China pretty much (contrast this with Japan where you can't even smoke in public outside anymore). Even in the cabs there may be a no smoking sign and yet the drivers really don't mind if you light up. </div>
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Hospitals though? Surely not?</div>
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I'm afraid so my friend... I've yet to have the full hospital experience (I'd prefer not to really) but I'm told there is virtually no privacy and people are chain-smoking whilst they wait. Nice. Anyway, if the pollution ain't clogging up your lungs you can be pretty certain the passive smoke is. Cigarettes are cheap and no one seems to care.</div>
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Not a lot to say here other than no one wears a seat belt - they are almost impossible to locate in the car - and the Chinese aren't particularly good drivers. They will happily make u-turns into on-coming traffic and go the wrong direction up the road. They love to honk their horns too...oh and around the festive season time it is probably wise to note your driver's breath...he may be driving under the influence.</div>
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<b><u>NIGHT CLUBS</u></b></div>
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Imagine heavy-thudding music that threatens to burst your ear drums, the thick cloud of collective smoke and people loitering around tables, not dancing - bar the odd camp-looking guy who swings his hips and arms enthusiastically in a kind of Cliff Richard sort of style- whilst a dj over-enthusiastically churns out beats. That was my experience last night anyway in a trip to our local discotec. I've experienced some better International scenes in the heart of the city where people have danced and grooved but this was, what I guess, a more authentic experience.</div>
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I remarked the extreme level of noise to a friend living down in the South of China and he said he'd encountered a similar thing there. We wondered if - like smoking - the long term affects have yet to be registered. Is there a cap in Europe on how loud you can blast your sound-system? I don't know. Maybe my ears are getting weaker. All I can say is my uncle was a lover of loud music in the 60/70's and now he dons a hearing aid - go figure. We shoved tissue into our ear cavities which eased the pressure a little. I left my raving-ear plugs back in the UK... bad move.</div>
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<b><u>WATER</u></b></div>
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When you go to restaurants here you always get served hot water. You want cold, refreshing water? Why would you want that?! Forget it. Are you mad? Warm water is much better for you according to the Chinese. If you try to push the issue they just look very confused. Warm water it is then...I don't feel refreshed after though..</div>
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<b><u>PACKAGING</u></b></div>
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You open your toilet roll pack to find each toilet roll individually wrapped. You order a coffee and a cake and the cake is put into a small bag and then a bigger bag. All the take-away comes with throw-away chopsticks and plastic spoons and containers. Mountains and mountains of plastic... (and yet weirdly it took me months to find large bin bags to dispose all of this plastic into - so much so it became like some sort of <i>Lord of the Rings </i>quest and then I found them tucked away in the supermarket and felt like an idiot) Guess China have yet to get the memo on recycling and ways to cut down on such things.</div>
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Okay, let's take a breather. Let's just reflect. All of these things -perhaps with exception of the toilets and water - sort of say to me that this is a country in its infancy. Yet of course, China is not an infant - it's ancient and been around for ages. However, China has been developing at an incredibly fast rate and taking on Western practices and modern customs in the process. Is it hardly surprising that, whilst they have been influenced by the West and have many of the same amenities, they have yet to regulate them and think more deeply about how to use them effectively and responsibly? Maybe I sound patronising, it isn't my intention, but I do wonder. All this takes time I guess. We, ourselves, were once the same with many things (just look at old 80's movies with people smoking in offices and I bet even hospitals back then), and China is such a vast country to try and regulate anyhow.</div>
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In this post I've talked about more functional things...I've yet to talk about the people themselves and some of their different ways -especially in relation to my job where I deal with parents and children. This has become a long post and I'm sure I've missed things but I'll stop for now. Hopefully I'll be inspired to continue the thread at a later date. Until then...xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-86937553176116513122017-03-11T23:50:00.001-08:002017-03-13T03:33:55.880-07:00Another week melts away...(make the most of it and dance)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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That's what they seem to do these days...fall away and then a photo pops up on Facebook saying: <i>'Hello! Remember this fun moment? This was five years ago!'</i> and you do a double take and think <i>'oh my life! Where is it disappearing to?'</i></div>
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They say death comes in threes... well we've had two so far...last week, like clockwork - the same day as the week before - another death fell at my feet. This time someone I haven't seen since I was twelve, but still a pretty important person in my memories. My old American babysitter, Holly. My word was she a wonderful, bubbly woman - the kind of women designed for children.</div>
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She would have me in stitches as a child and we were always so excited to see her. She would tell all these crazy stories of strange foods she had eaten at some random dinner party she went to - octopus pizza, chocolate covered ants and dandelion leaves- and crazy trench-coat flashers in Walmart who hung out by the milk section. She knew how to pull out and accentuate the little details that make stories great and us kids go wide-eyed and gasp <i>'No way! Unreal!'</i></div>
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With her visits came Disney colouring books, funky glitter pens, mermaids, stickers and brightly coloured candy. I still remember these little boxes she gave us the night before we left to go back to the UK filled with glitzy stationary, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garfield">Garfield </a>bookmarks and little gizmos and gadgets. When I came back to the US for a visit, she took me out to the malls and we bought jangly earrings and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Baby-Sitters_Club">Baby-Sitters Club</a> books and electric pencil sharpeners. When her then husband -Jay - would come round with her to babysit, we would sit on our sofa and play <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mad_Libs">Mad-Libs</a> and I would giggle until I almost peed myself. She also had these adorable floppy-eared bunnies who took showers with her and enjoyed listening to classical music. I can still remember her dramatic America twangy voice.</div>
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And now...she's gone. Diabetes related...? I don't know. I've yet to find out. I can see from photos that life got a bit tougher in later years. She seemed to shrink and shrivel and lose a leg...but there was always that lively shine in her eyes from photos and a big toothy grin. Poor Holly... I wonder if she knew how much we loved her back then and remembered her so fondly? I hope so...</div>
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And then...<br />
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...I was in my apartment on a Saturday night - feeling regret for not going out to dance and making up for it by blasting 80's tunes and dancing on my own instead. I'm a grown woman and I still wanna head bang and twirl around the living room like a teenager, singing with a spoon. It's a liberating feeling to dance in our apartment - so much space and wooden floors to slide on. Then I found <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Winwood">Steve Winwood's</a> <i>Back in the High Life Again</i> and it took me back to sitting in the car once more with my mother as a child in the US and then I properly listened to the words...</div>
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<i><b>It used to seem to me that my life ran on too fast</b></i></div>
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<i><b>And I had to take it slowly just to make the good parts last</b></i></div>
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<i><b>But when you're born to run, it's so hard to just slow down</b></i></div>
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<i><b>So don't be surprised to see back in that bright part of town.</b></i></div>
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<i><b>I'll be back in the high life again</b></i></div>
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<i><b>All the doors I closed one time will open up again</b></i></div>
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<i><b>I'll be back in the high life again</b></i></div>
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<i><b>All the eyes that watched me once will smile and take me in</b></i></div>
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<i><b>And I'll drink and dance with one hand free</b></i></div>
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<i><b>Let the world back into me and oh I'll be a sight to see</b></i></div>
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<i><b>Back in the high life again</b></i></div>
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<i><b>You used to be the best to make life be life to me</b></i></div>
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<i><b>And I hope that you're still out there and you're like you used to be</b></i></div>
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<i><b>We'll have ourselves a time</b></i></div>
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<i><b>And we'll dance 'til the morning sun</b></i></div>
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<i><b>And we'll let the good times come in </b></i></div>
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<i><b>And we won't stop 'til we're done... </b></i>(Chorus etc)</div>
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And they felt like they had meaning to me then because I do just want to keep having fun and dancing. I don't want time to move on. I want to go back to all those good moments Facebook reminds me of, I want to go back as a kid and see Holly. I want Holly to be young and laughing again. I also want my young cousin, who died last week, to be alive and singing like he did here in this video with the same vibrancy and passion and talent. </div>
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All these moments, all these stories and lives and all this infectious energy. It's so beautiful and precious. I don't ever want to take it for granted. I want to be thankful for it everyday. So whilst my body can and will, I will keep dancing around my living room. I'll dance for those who can't because they are no longer here, and I'll dance for those who have forgotten or misplaced their youthful energy and have let the high life fade behind them...</div>
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There is this very touching video on YouTube I remember of a 102 year old woman in a hospital bed who has the chance to watch video footage of herself dancing in the 1930's. When asked how it made her feel she said she wished she could get up and dance like that all over again. Isn't that wonderful? And doesn't she look so beautiful?</div>
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So that's all I have to say this weekend... I always have lots to say as you know... but that is it for this week. Now go and put your favourite music on and have a little boogie and celebrate your life. </div>
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xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4703709450026933803.post-13860410139896747122017-03-05T21:15:00.002-08:002017-03-05T21:17:24.903-08:00My 'Sunday' and the thoughts that come with it.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The house is clean; I've done the food shop; I have even gone to the gym for the first time since arriving here. The day stretches out ahead because I got up early and got productive. It's a nice feeling. Later, I'll roast some potatoes and throw together a salad for dinner and then people will all pile round to watch <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aliens_(film)">Aliens</a> - a casual, chilled out evening before work the next day.</div>
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So it is calm and quiet in the house. Ciske has gone to University to sign up for the next term. I suspect she'll be back soon after running some errands. We joke that we have fallen into a pattern of husband and wife - I had the same joke with Bob and even housemates before...guess that is the life and dynamic of sharing a home if you are fortunate enough to get on well and see eye to eye. I enjoy the harmony and balance. That is how home life should be really...</div>
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Harmony and balance... It's not always easy to strike. I feel like sometimes I'm in a soap opera. I wake up and a different piece of news lands on my door matt daily. At the beginning of the week our family had some really dark news -the worst kind you can get in a family. We lost a young member who had his whole life ahead of him. I'm not going to talk about it too much here because it is so new and raw but needless to say, this death has permeated far and wide and it is going to be felt for a long time to come. I'm all the way over on the other side of the world and all I can do is send messages and what little support I can - it is never enough but if we all rally round I hope it provides a cushion of sorts. </div>
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The thing is, death is just a part of life and the reality is that we will all watch it steal away our friends and loved ones or, maybe it will steal us away in an untimely manner. Accepting this doesn't make it any easier though and whilst we try to prepare ourselves, when it comes out of the darkness it still rocks, shakes and breaks foundations. Whilst talking to some friends back home on the matter, I learnt some new things about their own experiences too and one positive thing is, that whilst it is a time of immense sadness, the love creeps in from other sources and attempts to seal the gaps like polly-filler.</div>
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Anyway... this is all I shall say for now. </div>
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On the flip side, within the same week, other more mysterious news came related to another past death - my 'stepfather'. Inheritance that had once seemed like an empty promise - a lie even - suddenly arrived in an envelope pushed through my mother's front door. There was no explanation but there it was. Suddenly it looks a bit more hopeful for my mother's retirement and only days before she had been lamenting and wishing for more financial help. Funny old world...</div>
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As for myself... I'm feeling pretty secure right now. Even though a lot of my friends and family are far away, I can feel their love and I feel love within me too. I also always feel the support of the network which surrounds me here. Work has calmed a little and the days are slowly getting warmer. I've noticed occasionally now that I can understand odd Chinese words in conversation which is pleasurable. Sometimes I even forget I'm living in China! The landscape has become so familiar.</div>
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So...that's it for now. Hope I eventually finish my Korean blog post... Today we shall book hostels in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xi%27an">Xi'an </a>- before I know it, that next adventure will be upon me. Until next time...xxx</div>
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The Curious Cathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16920550974303475865noreply@blogger.com2